From what you wrote it sounds like your 7 year old son is not your only child. Your son told you he feels like he is "the bad child" and that no one cares, which means there must be another child whom he thinks is "the good child". Your son needs to know that there is no such thing as good and bad children, but there are choices we make which can be good or bad, or somewhere in between. Parents should "love the child and dislike the behavior", and make it clear to the child so the child does not feel they are all bad or all good.

Your son's actions could be partly because of the possible ADHD, but it could be that he is trying to get your attention. Do not assume he is not upset by the situation. He may not show it in the way you expect him, but he actually verbalized it quite clearly when he said he feels he is the bad child and no one cares. Kids figure out quickly if they can get attention from a parent for their negative behaviors.

Once you get the results back from the evaluation you will have more answers. But until then, try to praise your child when he tells you the truth, when he does anything small which is kind or helpful, and of course for his good behavior and grades at school. At Boys Town we say for every reprimand or negative consequence, we want to give 4 more positive comments to the child; a ratio of 4:1, positive to negative statements over the course of the day.

We have a website for parents which you may find useful. Please go to www.parenting.org for more ideas and advice on many different parenting issues. You can also call our toll-free Hotline anytime and talk directly with a crisis counselor, or you can e-mail our Hotline. Either way we are here 24/7 to listen and support parents and kids of all ages.

Thanks again for reaching out and let us know if we can help again!

Sincerely,

Cynthia, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
hotline@boystown.org