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BettySoto
BettySoto asks:
Q:

If adults are there to protect young people, why are they scared to intervene in bullying?

In Topics: Teen issues, Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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REFRAME
REFRAME writes:
This is such a good question, because it’s directed to one of the essential causes of bullying, the hierarchical conflict. In other words, bullying is a symptom of the hierarchical conflict of the organization (family, school, company and the like) in which it takes place. Typically, order is somehow disturbed within these organizations, so that the leaders (teachers, parents, managers) fail about the important role of being good references to the people on the baseline of hierarchy.  A strong agreement between adults would be necessary to prevent or correct bullying. An event of bullying often increases de disagreement on the scenario of conflict and generates more bullying instead of correcting it. Parents fight the teachers (and vice versa) instead of making good alliance with each other, this way making the cause of the problem more profound and difficult to solve. Teachers blame the parents. Parents blame the teachers. Directors blame the teachers … and the parents. When one looks over the development of bullying in a school, one can see that the conflict between the adults become more and more evident. A lot of energy will be spent in dealing with the conflict, but not with the bulling itself.
> 60 days ago

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MelissaDoesNotBully
MelissaDoes... , Student writes:
at what i think is that they are because their scared the bully wont stop, do more, or do something u will regret. its hard to protect Ur child whatever u do their is all ways a problem to what u choose to do sometimes parents might think, "my kid needs to learn on their own" but truth is that they cant you need to talk to them about how many times it happened or if they are really starting to hurt you. parents need to stand up and say,"leave are kid alone, don't pick on are kid we know that u wouldn't want this too happen to u so STOP!" and sometimes their parents might step in without knowing the truth and Lie that they know.
> 60 days ago

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TeacherMom72
TeacherMom72 writes:
Most adults are not scared to intervene. There are actually two other issues at stake here: 1) how much the adult knows about the bullying and 2) their understanding of what bullying is.

First, bullying is often unnoticed by adults, in large part because bullies are smart. They attack their victims in crowded hallways, in stairwells where cameras cannot see them, or in places where adults may not be, such as in bathrooms. It also happens online, where teachers may not have access and parents are unaware.

Second, many parents come from an older generation where bullying usually didn't go far beyond nasty teasing. Notice I said, "usually." There were definitely victims of bullying that went far beyond this. However, adults considered bullying to be a natural element of high school: a sort of "survival of the fittest" attitude. Students were less likely to report instances of bullying as a result.

As a teacher, I see how much things have changed. Bullying has become much more violent, and much more viral. Bullies now have a 24/7 audience with cell phones, facebook, and other social media. They damage they inflict  is often much more public--at least among their peer group.

It is important for victims and witnesses of bullying to speak up. Tell an adult. It may seem like tattling, but the reality is, bullies continue their behavior because a small handful of their peers cheer them on, and the vast majority condone the behavior by refusing to say anything. In fact, many avoid contact with the victim for fear of becoming a target themselves, which further isolates the victim.

To parents, if your child comes to you and tells you that they are being bullied in school, don't ignore it or dismiss it. Don't tell your child to "just stand up for yourself." The dynamics of bullying are often much more complex than a little teasing. Talk to the teacher. It is very likely that they do not know that the bullying is happening. More than likely, you will get assistance there. If it escalates, or doesn't end after talking to the teacher, talk to the administration, but don't assume it's because "the teacher did nothing." (an accusation I hear far to often.) It is more likely that the bully just shifted his behavior to avoid detection.

The consequences of ignoring bullying are severe, as we have come to understand more and more. Victims often develop psychological trauma as a result: depression, eating disorders, attempted suicides, self-mutilation, etc. A portion become bullies themselves in order to not be bullied themselves. It is important to remember that most young people have not developed the coping mechanisms to deal with these issues, so it is important to help them in whatever way we can.
> 60 days ago

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