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Anonymous asks:
Q:

ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY. How do I get my 5 year old daughter to sleep in her own room?

She wants to either sleep next to her daddy or next to me. When she gets tired she will say she wants to sleep but then I have to go and lye next to her. She also starts to cry about her grandmother. If we dont want to take her to my mother she throws her toys out the cot. At the moment she is the only child but my husband and I dont get time for each other. If she start with her tantrimes then the whole household is upside down. I know she gets her way easily, she does get a hiding sometime or the other but we dont believe in spanking her when we are mad. Does anyone have any advice that will be of help? When she does go to my mother's, she is in a routine and knows it but when she's home she does everything upside down.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Sleep and rest, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Wayne Yankus
Feb 17, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Establish your own routine. Make sure she is tired. Tell her she must stay in her bed.  give her a "card" which will give her one mom-trip to her room. Be firm and both of you need to be on the same page.  It will be ugly for a few nights but don't give in.  Tough love.  Read Dr. Ferber's book on sleep habits and Dr. Shaffers book on "getting your baby to sleep".  Some parents will sit in the room and read the paper and move their chair gradually into the hall thus separating gradually.  do whatever works for you but be consistent.

Wayne Yankus, MD, FAAP
expert panelist: pediatrics
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Additional Answers (6)

momof3tn
momof3tn writes:
Try setting a routine for her every night. Routine at my house is homework until 6PM, then dinner, playtime until 7PM, then baths, brush hair and teeth, read a story, and then cuddle until around 8PM. At 8PM, its time for bed. It will be hard at first, but I can PROMISE you that after a few nights, it will get lots better and she will know that after bath and storytime, its time to go to HER bedroom. :) If she's anything like mine, she will scream and cry and throw her toys......but I can guarantee you that it will pass. If she comes into your room, simply take her by the hand and walk her back to her room and say 'Its time to go to sleep in your bed.' No matter how many times she may come back into your room, repeat it over and over. It may sound trivial, but it actually works. But whatever you do, DO NOT change her routine once you have one established. Kids need to know they have a 'schedule'--that way they can sort of predict. I have found that structure works best. :) I hope this works for you! Good luck!! :0)
> 60 days ago

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maggiegab
maggiegab writes:
There is your answer. When she does go to your mother's she is in a routine and knows it, but when she's is home she does everything upside down.  Children need routine.

If she throws tantrime - ignore her. If that does not work- a 5 minute time out in a chair always worked for me.
> 60 days ago

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lisaann
lisaann writes:
the answers others gave will work..Patience , routine, and diligence. You do not want to end up as I have with a dad who still struggles with his 14 year old daughter wanting to sleep in his bed, waking up asking for water, and the light being turned on. It is very hard at this point to change this behavior...do it now.
> 60 days ago

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CR'sMom
CR'sMom , Parent writes:
Are you spanking her or punishing her for her behavior? The problem seems to be that you have allowed her to turn the household upside down - DONT ALLOW IT. Lay down the ground rules immediately and let her know there will be consequences for not following through - and then YOU FOLLOW THROUGH on her punishments.
> 60 days ago

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Edwards5
Edwards5 , Caregiver, Parent writes:
She is doing this because she gets a rise from you or other members of you family. When she gets upset next time just act like she is not even there. No matter how loud she gets. After about 30sec. in a calm voice let her know if she wants you to talk to her she has to calm down. Keep   acting like she is not there long as she acts up. When she calms down let her know if you will or will not do what she wants. If it is a no stick with it, because if you do not she will know all she has to do is act out and she will get her way all the time. As for her sleeping in her own bed you might need to offer her a prize for every week she sleeps in her own room. If she is use to you sleeping with her it may just take some time  but she will do it. What ever you do you have to stick to it if you say something is going to happen and then go back on it you will have trust issues latter.
> 60 days ago

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MimiR
MimiR writes:
He's being a brat.  Tell her to stay in her bed.  And mean it.  Ignore her if she cries.  

Right now, she's the boss, not you.  Understand that she is to obey or she is to go to her room, every time, without fail, and she is to stay there until she is ready to obey--even if that means she spends all weekend in her room...
> 60 days ago

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