Thank you for contacting us for help.  This may be an opportunity for you to establish a purposeful routine of talking about feelings with your daughter. The conversation should occur perhaps at the end of her day, in her room, when everything is quiet in the house.

Share about your own day, describing how you felt about things that happened and also how you handled the frustration, the anger or the disappointment you experienced.

Make sure she is aware that all these feelings are normal and how we handle them can either be helpful or harmful to ourselves and others. Ask her about things that are going on with her and how they make her feel. Help her identify the feelings and of course what she does to cope with the feelings. Ask if she ever feels like harming herself in any way. If she says no, then talk about the dangers of doing that and how if her emotional pain reaches that level, she should be seen by a professional if she can't talk about it with you and find some relief by sharing. Let her know that if she is thinking about harming herself, that she needs to talk to someone, whether her friends or to you. It is serious and if she ever hears that from her friends, she should share  with you so you can make sure her friends get the help they need.

Let her know that if she would like to talk with a professional, that you will help her by making that appointment for her and you will take her there.

Sincerely,
Pat, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000