SondraHuggins asks:

Blended Families/Articles

I am a student doing a final paper for this semester that I chose earlier for a project.I found a library book then but do not have one now.I need articles written on the subject or personal experiences of lessons learned.My granddaughter is in a blended family but my son and her mother never married but both have married so she has a stepfather and stepmother and lives with her mother part-time&dad part-time?
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Children and stress
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

YourAdviceG... , Teacher, Parent writes:
Managing relationships within a blended family can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be! While everyone may not be Will and Jada Smith, I think there are some common courtesy rules that can help set the tone for these new relationships. First and foremost, recognize the importance of the children and their need to have quality, loving relationships with both of their natural parents whenever possible, regardless of whom is married to whom. This means no bad mouthing parents or having what should be “closed-door discussions” in their presence. Second, respect is a must. Your ex-spouses must respect your new union. You and your wife have to have respect for each other and try to maintain decent relationships with your exes for the sake of the children, but these relationships should not be allowed to affect your union. I think your wife should be glad that you and your ex can get along, especially since she knows the stress of her own relationship with her ex. But as a woman and a new wife, I can understand how this might feel a little threatening. You must remain mindful of your wife’s feelings as well and help her to be comfortable with the relationship with your ex, which brings me to my final common courtesy rule, there must be boundaries. While you can maintain a relationship with your ex, there must be boundaries to that relationship that take into consideration your wife and her feelings. This goes for her ex as well. He cannot try to dictate your relationship with your wife and their children or what goes on in your household. It would be nice if the four of you could sit down and establish some boundaries together, but if that is not possible, you and your wife need to be on the same page at all times.

-Tamara, Your Advice Guru

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