Which books have you found most helpful for parenting a spirited child?
I'm curious if anyone has a book to recommend on parenting a spirited child. Up until now, our discipline techniques have been somewhat of a hodgepodge. Interested in reading a few books on setting up consistent boundaries and limits for a five year old, spirited boy.
The Boys Town National Press has many great books that help with disciplining your young "spirited" child. A few examples are "How to Behave and Why" & "Manners can be fun," both by Munro Leaf. These can be found by checking out the Press Dept. on the web at www.boystown.org, or you can call the Press Dept. directly at 1-800-282-6657.
Another thought.......is your child in kindergarten yet? Often times, children learn a great deal of discipline and an important portion of their social skills soon after starting kindergarten. If he is in school, you may try consulting with the school counselor on general discipline ideas.
I did a quick search and found this book on Amazon. I'll stop short of recommending anything on the subject but the review seems worthy of passing on.
I also added an article from Education.com. The picture that accompanies the article made me smile. Hope this helps!
"Recently, temperament traits have come to the forefront of child development theory. In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's first contribution is to redefine the "difficult child" as the "spirited" child, a child that is, as she says, MORE. Many people are leery about books that are too quick to "type" kids, but Kurcinka, a parent of a spirited child herself and a parent educator for 20 years, doesn't fall into that trap. Instead, she provides tools to understanding your own temperament as well as your child's. When you understand your temperamental matches--and your mismatches--you can better understand, work, live, socialize, and enjoy spirit in your child. By reframing challenging temperamental qualities in a positive way, and by giving readers specific tools to work with these qualities, Kurcinka has provided a book that will help all parents, especially the parents of spirited children, understand and better parent their children."
My avatar is the cover of a book I highly recommend to all parents and/or anyone with a child in their life, because it's from the heart of experience. The author states she isn't a professional, but perhaps even professionals could learn from the authors’ experiences, as it's different in its approach to childhood issues from anything I've ever read. As she shares her dysfunctional childhood and life story, she relates how her negative past was turned into something wonderful for the six young people in her charge and she shares why she felt it was so important to their future to implement the important lessons as she did. The author genuinely cares about children and paints such a vivid picture of how a child misinterprets adult intent and responsibility that it makes perfect sense. I easily related to it, remembering instances in my own childhood and/or things I see happening in the lives of children I'm personally acquainted with. The subjects are many and she also details ADD, ADD/HD, and Childhood Depression in her own words and how she taught her young to manage the disorders so the disorders didn't bring chaos into their lives as it had hers. I feel "From a Child's Perception" is inspirational and proves negative childhood experiences don't have to be passed down to our own young, but it's all about knowledge and sharing of information like I'm doing now.
My favorite book for parenting spirited children is 'Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds, Third Edition' by Rex Forehand, Ph.D. and Nicholas Long, Ph.D.
As a parent and child psychologist, this is my go to book. I have read it many times and implemented its strategies with all of my children at some level or another. Sort of like the What to Expect When You’re Expecting book when you’re pregnant, this is the book that tells you what to expect and what to do when you want to improve your child’s behavior (and who doesn’t want to do that!).
'Parenting the Strong Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five Week Program for Parents of Two to Six Year Olds' includes how to guides, homework, and daily monitoring guides for how to successfully attend to, reward, and ignore your child. It also teaches how to give instructions effectively and use time-out with success. In addition to these basics, it integrates tips on improving your communication skills, enhancing your child’s self esteem, and teaching your child social skills. And my favorite, the chapter on helping parents develop more patience!
If you’re thinking that your child has issues that go beyond rewarding, ignoring, and time out, don’t worry! At the end of the book there is a section devoted to specific problem behaviors, like tantrums, aggression, lying, and sibling rivalry. There are also specific instructions on managing problems with bedtime and sleeping, mealtimes, getting dressed, in the car, and at school.
If you’re committed to improving your parenting, then this book is a must read. It may not provide an overnight fix, but in five weeks you will surely see a dramatic improvement! Remember, just like achieving weight loss or fitness goals, changing your child’s behavior takes time. But your effort will pay off in the end, so stick with it and let me know how it works for you!