How to say no when my boyfriend ask for sex?

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Tota23 asks:

Hi , I am with my boyfriend for like a month now, and we make out sometimes but last time he tried to undress me and he actually touched me, I did the same to him and he asked me if we can make love, I said that am not ready now , so he told me that he will use protection but I kept saying no, I wanna know if touching those areas is already considered sex, and how can explain to him that I wanna wait because I want to make this relationship work....even though I refused sex but he still wants to see me more, is that because he only will try until he succeed and then leave or what? I need help, plz tell what to do? He is a really nice and kind person and I feel that he cares about my feeling...

In Topics: Teen sexuality and dating

> 60 days ago

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vonengal writes:

Hello, Let me say this first. This is going to be one of the hardest decisions you'll have to make this early in your life. What you do will have an impact in your life and maybe his. (I only say maybe because I dont know how he feels) Just say "no", I understand you dont want to hurt his feelings or lose that connection you both have between you. but if this is real love then like a lot of people will tell you he'll wait. I've been there and I picked not to wait, and I am no longer with my first. Yet, a very close friend of mine did wait till she was married and she's very happy to have her husband be her only. This is all up to you, dont let hasty feelings become long term decisions. Once you've picked you can't void that moment from your life. You have to take a step to say in the heat of the moment to him "Lets just wait" If he agrees to wait, with no set date as to when "it" may happen then it means good things for both of you. I hope this helps.

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franchescat... writes:

I don't believe that he cares for you the way you think if he really loves you he wouldn't be forcing you to do anything you don't want, and if you already told him you are not ready he should respect it and wait, I believe you should get out of that relationship. Because someone who says that loves you, cares for you and RESPECTS you no matter what!!!! you should take a good look at what kind of relationship you have with him!!

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JamielaIsmail , Teacher writes:

you have done the right thing by telling him that you are not ready. love today means having sex with someone. you must be careful with this word that gets used in such a loose manner.
Sex is for marriage and it is a beautiful experience. you have the choice and the decision you make now will mean that you are prepared for the consequences and the responsibilities that come with it. i personally would advice you to wait for that special day when you get married - the right place and time and something to look forward. Sex in the back of a car is not quite right and you feel cheap and used.
If he LOVES you then he will understand when you say no.
you have done the right thing. believe in yourself and respect yourself.
if he does not understand, then he does not love and respect you.

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