It's wonderful that you consider them your stepkids. You may or may not live in the same home, but you are taking on the responsibilities of the mom in your boyfriend's home. It's wonderful to share in this joy and responsibility.
The only concern that I have is that you and your boyfriend are heading down a path towards more permanent commitment. It's tough on kids, and you don't want them getting used to you as a stepmom, if this relationship is not long term.
I wish you the very best. You have opened your heart to your boyfriend and also to his kids, and it sounds like they love you in return. There's always room in our hearts for more love, and you have found that secret.
Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC
Founder of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center
Author of the best selling book, Blended Family Advice
you can't be wrong for that because you are not marrige to the man and if you want people to think thats your stepkids say that your stepkids their is no one in this world can stop you from saying their your and they can't do any thing about it thank you for your imformaion and if you need me you answer any more of your question's my e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org
It is great that you are so close with your boyfriend's kids, but remember at this point he is still a boyfriend. I am not suggesting that you treat the children any different, but you have to be very careful of using words like step-mom and step-kids. Sometimes the relationship does work out and the children are left wondering what happened to their step-mom. So cross that bridge when you get to it, but for right now they could call you Debbie or Ms. Debbie until you all get married.
Hi. We are on the same boat. My boyfriend has 3 kids and I have 2. His kids love me! and they are the sweetest. When I am talking to distant family members or acquaintances, I refer to them as my "step kids" but if it is a close friend or family or knows our situation, I call them by name. All for all if you two are have been together for some time and you play a role in caring for the kids, what does it matter if you are married or not to care for them as your own. I do. For the time being, they are under my care and there for are my step kids.