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SMBROTT
SMBROTT asks:
Q:

Bullying Not Being Acknowledged

This is not aimed to a specific school or specific person...but a general question.  

What are the opinion of the parents with kids in lower grades on bullying steps the schools should be doing.  Do you think they do enough or not enough and do you agree that bullying is not it is not just 1 or the other/black and white type of issue....  Do you think there are many levels and it is a spectrum issue with various degree's and shades of levels.

What would you do if you are told that your child is lying about and bullying didn't happen......this I would love to hear from parents of older and younger children.

How far would you go to prove your child is the victim and not lying about their experiences....



In Topics: My Relationship with my child's school, Bullying and teasing, Cyber bullying
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Jan 20, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

Some very good questions posed here.  Bullying is a very complicated issue and there are no quick and dirty easy answers. That being said, many schools do not clear enough policies in place or they may have the policies in place, but simply are not effectively enforcing these policies.  As a parent, it is important to keep the school informed on what your child says is occuring.  Gathering information such as time, place, consistency of the occurrences and involved parties are all important parts of information that a school can use to try and tailor the environment to be more bully free.  We also think it is important at all schools to raise awareness about bullying by educating the students about what bullyiing is, how to respond when they are bullied, and how to stand up for others when they are the bystanders to bullying.  Often times the best resource for a student may not be a teacher, but another student who can be there for them.  

When situations arise where parents and school begin to clash in regards to bullying policies, things can easily blow up and get out of control, which can divide a school and make the environment even worse for the kids who are stuck in the middle.  If you feel the school is failing your student and think they may be in danger, take the appropriate steps in going up the chain of command to superintendant and always keep an attitude of problem solving as opposed to attacking.  If over time you continue to be unsatisfied, it may be time to switch schools.  We also think counseling is very beneficial to students who experience severe bullying.

If you need to talk further about these questions, please call our hotline and we would be happy to help however we can!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A resource for parents and teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org

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Additional Answers (1)

MelissaBloux
MelissaBloux writes:
I do NOT think that they do enough. I was told not only that my child was lying about being bullied, but that he was a bully! At 6 years old my son was called into the principals office almost daily, and i was NOT told all the time! I went to pick him up one day and he was in the office like he had apparently been ALL WEEK and no one told us.  He was so afraid we would be mad at him like the principal SAID we would, he had not told us.  The principal even told me she did say that! He was terrified we would not believe him either, because apparently no one did. I was helping out at the school and SAW him be bullied: i told the teacher and the principal and they both ignored me and punished my son even though he did nothing. We went as far as the district and no help. I tried to get him into another school but the principal put all the "incidents" in his file and labeled him a trouble maker and even after explaining, I couldn't transfer him to a new school. So now I am home schooling him. And the changes are astounding! He loves reading and schoolwork again, he wants to play with other kids, and hes no longer sad or hurt but is gaining confidence. I am deciding whether I should get legal counsel or whatnot to get those "incidents" out of his file so he can make a new start at a new school.
So, in answer, as far as i have to.  I am lucky we have a lot of family support, i shudder to think about the other victims who are still there.
> 60 days ago

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