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dkarpf
dkarpf asks:
Q:

My grandson is being bullied and teased at school. What can we do?

My grandson told me several times he is being hit and punched in the face by at least 2 students. My husband ( his grandfather) spoke with the teacher who claimed she didn't see a thing. My concern is that this has happened before. I practiced with him telling the boy in a firm way please don't hit me again but he wants so much to be liked I thing he's just afraid and he figures if he lets himself be hit the boy will like him. This is basically what he told me. I don't like. What can we do?
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 16, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

You did not mention your grandson’s age, but there is no excuse for bullying at any
age.  Being hit in the face should be considered a very serious matter at school.  If your grandson’s teacher is not aware of what is going on and is not supportive, then you should be able to take your concerns to the principal or school counselor.  Many school districts have anti-bullying programs in place, which teach children at all levels how to recognize when they are being bullied and what to do about it, as well as how to treat others with respect.  

It is wonderful that you have open communication with your grandson, and have talked with him about how to address the boys who are hitting him.  Continue to allow him to talk about his feelings, and continue to be there for him.   Every child needs at least one caring, trusting adult whom they know love them unconditionally.  

While you want to continue to provide empathy for your grandson, it is also important that he does not grow to see himself as a “victim,” but as someone who has a choice in how to act towards the aggressors.  By using his voice to say “stop” or “please leave me alone” and by looking the bully in the eye when he talks, it gives him more control.  It is also important for your grandson to know that he does not have to be friends with kids who treat him badly.  Encourage him to be friends with children who don’t hurt him.  It is possible if there is intervention made by the parents and the school that these children who have been bullying your grandson will turn themselves around and they can eventually be friends.  

Please contact our Hotline at anytime with any parenting concerns or questions.  We are available 24 hours, 7 days a week via e-mail or by calling:  1-800-448-3000.  Thanks again for reaching out and best wishes to you and your grandson!

Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
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Additional Answers (3)

nickel
nickel writes:
I would try to talk with your grandson again and explain to him that the boy does not like him now, people do not punch when they are your friend. He needs to stand up to these boys in some way, he may decide to defend himself. (however you see fit; mental, physical or ignore) He needs confidence so find a new hobby or sport that he excels in and join a group with new friend potential, once he feels confident he will be able to handle this situation better. No matter this will take time.
> 60 days ago

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mama2010
mama2010 writes:
Report the abuse to the teacher and the principal. If the matter persist, involve law enforcement. Seems to be the only way to get people's attention now and days. Sad, but true.
> 60 days ago

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LadyBug92454
LadyBug92454 writes:
I don't have an answer, because my question is the same as this.
> 60 days ago

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