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djydolls
djydolls asks:
Q:

What about a bus driver shouting at children aggressiveness telling children to sit down and shut up?

My Grandchild came in one afternoon and the Child said that the bus driver talked to this child hateful.What can you do with this and also being bullied at school. THe teacher either replies with shrugging her shoulders or shaking her head or tells the child not to be telling.OUR Grand Children already get treated like prisoners at school.If they are sick you are still suppose to take them to school for nurse to excuse them for the day.Now tell me where do you think all the Flu germs come from.This is ridiculous if this Child is burning up with fever.What do you do?
In Topics: School and Academics, Parenting / Our Family, Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

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Expert

BarbK
Apr 19, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

It sounds like you have several different frustrations with your grandchild's school.  So let me take them one at a time.  Since I don't know how old your grandchild is, my response is a bit general.

The bus driver - What a job they have getting children to and from school each day safely in all types of weather conditions.  I remember taking the bus in middle and high school.  My peers at the middle school level were less than obedient or even respectful of each other.  It was always loud.  Once I reached high school, things settled down quite a bit.  As a teacher, there were times on field trips where traveling with certain classes was unruly until I stepped in.  I set high expectations for my students.  They knew that when we came to a railroad track crossing, they were silent.  I explained why and they followed my lead.  However, that was when an adult was present.  As for your grandchild's bus, maybe you could contact the school to see what their policy is.  Maybe you can even offer to sit in on the route once in awhile if the school will let you.  This may give you a new prospective on what happens on the bus and understand why the bus driver gets frustrated and then yells.  I'm not make excuses for the bus driver, but it is important to understand what kids are like when there is no adult to supervise - and the bus driver can't do that if he is driving.

If your grandchild is being bullied, you must bring it to the attention of the school.  If the classroom teacher is not listening, then go to the administrator.  For more ideas about what you can do to protect your grandchild go to www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/.  This page is filled with fantastic information.

As for not being able to call in sick, that sounds like a school or district policy.  Contact your grandchild's school or district office to find out the reason behind it.  I agree that send a sick child to school only to be turned around and sent home is not efficient or healthy. If you disagree with the policy, then bring your complaint to the school board.  I'm sure you are not the only grandparent or parent that feels that way.

So my suggestion to you is to find out the school's side of what is going on. Once you know both sides of the story, you will be better armed to fight these battles.

Good luck.

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Additional Answers (1)

Ohenese126
Ohenese126 writes:
I think it's utterly wrong for a person in authority to humiliate a kid like that. It may even backfire by making the child a hero in the eyes of the wrong crowd. Confronting him in a stern (meaning definite) way, however is acceptable in my opinion. There is a fine line there, but it exists.



It's interesting that one of the suggestions (which I supported) for a similar issue was to have the child sit in the first seat behind the bus driver. If I were the bus driver, I'd have gone back and "invited" him up to the seat behind mine. Once there, I'd quietly, but firmly, while making eye contact with him tell him that he's been moved because of his unacceptable language, and up there his language AND behavior can be more easily monitored. I'd also tell him he was to sit in that seat and that seat only for the next week. At the end of the week, his behavior would be re-evaluated and a decision would be made about whether he sits in that seat for a few more days or not. Each day I would comment on everything he's done right, but if necessary address any more misbehavior. Confronting his behavior in a constructive way would go much further than humiliating him. Being confronted at all may make him feel humiliated anyway, but the humiliation would be on his own shoulders, not hers. Dealing in a firm but respectful (not condescending) way can go lot further than an adults condescending approach.



I believe kids should be confronted about unacceptable behavior, and that appropriate consequences should be imposed when necessary, but must be followed through with. I also believe that kids should know EXACTLY what they have done wrong. Hysteria does not convey that.
11 days ago

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