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Nance4444
Nance4444 asks:
Q:

What happens to a child of 12, 13 or 14 years of age that plays alone or has no friends?

In Topics: Friendships and peer relationships
> 60 days ago

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Expert

AnnieFox
Oct 18, 2012
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What the Expert Says:

The appropriate response for a parent really depends on how the child is doing, emotionally, psychologically. How comfortable is your child in social situations with family members and friends of the family? What kind of reports are you getting from school about your child's involvement in class discussions and other group activities? What kinds of pursuits interest your child during the time s/he "plays alone?"

The answers to these question might paint a more nuanced picture of a 12-14 year old who "plays alone" and "has no friends." Some children are naturally more outgoing and social than others. Some extremely creative and intellectually gifted children prefer spending time on their own projects rather than hanging out with a peer group. Also worth noting, that real friendship is sometimes a matter of "chemistry" and social opportunity. If, for example, your child has yet to connect with a peer with whom s/he has common interests, then the "glue" that attracts us to new friends may not be there.

The most important question in a situation like this may be: Does your child express unhappiness about the lack of friends? If the answer is "yes" then, by all means help your child connect with other kids through out of school activities (clubs, teams, community service opportunities, youth groups, etc. ) Let your child's desire for friends and his/her interests guide the two of you, working together, to brainstorm new places to connect with like-minded peers.

If, on the other hand, your child is doing well at school (academically and in groups) and s/he is not expressing dissatisfaction with his/her current level of "sociability", please do not make this into a "problem" or in any way give your child the impression that you are disappointed or unduly concerned about him/her.
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Sivasubramanyam1016
Sivasubrama... writes:
Nothing will happen. You must encourage her and take special interest in joining parties and bring same age group of people and have some fun. You did not mention her performance in school.
> 60 days ago

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