DebbySunflo... asks:

My child (nearly 7 years old) just started a new class. But there are two boys who keep pushing my son or pesting him. What should I do? And my son?

In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Sep 15, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hi Moncha!

As a parent it is not easy to find out that our child is being excluded by friends. It tugs at our heartstrings! But please try not to take it personally or get too upset at this point. Children can perceive things one way while the adults see it another. On the other hand, you love your child and don't want to see this situation escalate into bullying.

The next time your son comes home and states that the other kids did not want to play with him, suggest that he speak up to the kids and tell them that he wants to play with them. Help him to not feel like a victim, but that he can use his words to express what he wants.

Since this situation is taking place on the playground, chances are there is not the same amount of supervision that there is in the classroom. Talk to his teacher and ask if she has noticed any problems in the classroom. She can be on alert during recess or talk with the recess supervisor to watch for problems and to encourage the kids to include your son. If it continues to be a problem and it develops into a chronic problem, you should speak with the school counselor or talk with the principal.

If you would like to talk with a counselor about this or any other parenting issue, please call our toll-free hotline at: 1-800-448-3000, or e-mail us at: You will also find more information on our website:

Take care, and best to you and your son!

Cynthia, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline

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Additional Answers (2)

aqblickley writes:
Hi there,

Thanks for using JustAsk!

I'm so sorry to hear that your son is having this trouble! I think it's a great start that you're so aware of what's going on. Whether it's your son that's telling you, or his teacher, the first step is being in the know about the situation.

I suggest you try talking to your child's teacher (if you haven't), or perhaps contacting a school counselor. If all else fails, talking to the school vice principal or principal will surely get administration to take notice of the situation. As a team, you are all responsible for your child's well-being.

Whether it's having one-on-one meetings with the other children's parents, or discussing appropriate and inappropriate. If this is the case, teachers and other school administrators have the professional experience to know how to intervene.

Hope this helps!
> 60 days ago

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CDEducate writes:
I asked my 10-year old to answer this question.  My 10-year old experienced this and he said to tell your son this:  When the bullies are bothering him, your son should look them directly in the eye, and with a serious face, tell them to STOP!  

My son says that if they push him, he MUST push them back.  He will get in trouble for pushing, but the bullies will know he isn't playing and the parent can claim self-defense which lets him off the hook for punishment.  

If that doesn't work, he should tell the teacher and be sure to tell you.  

As a parent, I will tell you that there is a "No Tolerance Policy" for any kind of contact, including pushing.  Go directly to the teacher and insist he/she deliver immediate consequences.  Then go to the principal.  My son was pushed down and I insisted the child be suspended.  The child was ultimately suspended.  My son got up and pushed the bully back and I objected to any kind of punishment for him based on his right to defend himself.  The school immediately released my son of any punishment.  Giving a young bully serious consequences right away is the only way to stop their behavior.
> 60 days ago

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