Education.com
Try
Brainzy
Try
Plus
Toll
Toll asks:
Q:

What do you say to a child who says "no" when asked to follow directions?

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago

|

Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Feb 19, 2014
Subscribe to Expert

What the Expert Says:

Without knowing the child's age, it is hard to give specific examples, but it sounds like it comes down to the fact that the child is not listening and is refusing to follow an instruction.  Think about when it is that he/she does not follow a direction.    Is it when he is tired or hungry?  Is it when you are on the phone or in the middle of another task?  It is when he does not want to stop an activity?  

If you can pinpoint when it happens the most then you have a starting point on where to start with this issue.  You might try doing some "listening role playing" together.  Tell him you are going to practice.  Start by teaching him how you want him to respond when you talk to him or give an instruction.  Have him practice:
 
1) stopping what he is doing
2) look directly at you
3) answer with "OK" or "Yes MOM" (something like that)
4) complete the task
 
When he does this, praise him for it.  Praise him with either verbal praise, a hug, encouragement. (positive consequences) If he does not do it, offer a negative consequence.  Let him know ahead of time what the negative consequence might be.  It could be removal from the room for a timeout or 3 minutes in his bed with no activities after he does finish what you asked him to do.  Whatever consequence delivered, be sure to use that as a teaching moment after the consequence is delivered.  "You did not listen to Mommy when I asked you to turn off the TV, next time I ask you, I want you to look at me and say 'OK Mommy'."

Being consistent is key to getting the behavior to change.  Each and every time he says no, follow through with your plan.  This way he will know what is expected of him, and hopefully you will notice over time,  you do not get as many "Nos".

Laura - Crisis Counselor
Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no

Additional Answers (1)

Boys Town National Hotline
Without knowing the child's age, it is hard to give specific examples, but it sounds like it comes down to the fact that the child is not listening and is refusing to follow an instruction.  Think about when it is that he/she does not follow a direction.    Is it when he is tired or hungry?  Is it when you are on the phone or in the middle of another task?  It is when he does not want to stop an activity?  

If you can pinpoint when it happens the most then you have a starting point on where to start with this issue.  You might try doing some "listening role playing" together.  Tell him you are going to practice.  Start by teaching him how you want him to respond when you talk to him or give an instruction.  Have him practice:
 
1) stopping what he is doing
2) look directly at you
3) answer with "OK" or "Yes MOM" (something like that)
4) complete the task
 
When he does this, praise him for it.  Praise him with either verbal praise, a hug, encouragement. (positive consequences) If he does not do it, offer a negative consequence.  Let him know ahead of time what the negative consequence might be.  It could be removal from the room for a timeout or 3 minutes in his bed with no activities after he does finish what you asked him to do.  Whatever consequence delivered, be sure to use that as a teaching moment after the consequence is delivered.  "You did not listen to Mommy when I asked you to turn off the TV, next time I ask you, I want you to look at me and say 'OK Mommy'."

Being consistent is key to getting the behavior to change.  Each and every time he says no, follow through with your plan.  This way he will know what is expected of him, and hopefully you will notice over time,  you do not get as many "Nos".

Laura - Crisis Counselor
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
0
yes
0
no
Answer this question