What do you do when your child is being bullied and it's OK with the teacher?!
My 7 yr. old is being bullied physically and emotionally by her classmates, both boys and girls. I told her to tell the teacher, she does, and the teacher rolls her eyes and tells her to fix it herself. Today I went to talk to the teacher and she tells me that hitting is part of being a kid and its going to happen. She says she encourages all of her students to fix their own problems. I got no where with her so I talked to the principal. She was just as mad as I am. She agreed with me on all of my concerns and is talking to the teacher about her ways and will keep in touch with me. My daughter also talked to the counselor about what is going on, which I like. Is there anything that I can do at home that wpuld make her feel better about herself and her school?
I want to commend you on all the steps you have taken to keep your child safe. You did exactly what I would have advised you to do! The steps you took in talking to the school were perfect. It's great that you talked to the teacher first to try to get the issue resolved in the classroom. Since that didn't work, you did the right thing by talking to the principal. I'm glad the principal was receptive to your concerns. It's also wonderful that your daughter has been willing to talk to the school counselor about how she's feeling. Hopefully all of these steps you've taken will help her in dealing with the emotional hurt she's experienced.
Outside of home it's very important that you show her lots of love, and reassurance. Give her lots of praise for things that she does well to increase her self confidence. It's important for all kids and teens to be reinforced by their peers so try to get your child into groups or clubs outside of school such as an art class, music lessons, or an outside sports team.
As long as your daughter has the desire, allow her to talk to the school counselor about her feelings. Give her praise at home and continue to build her self esteem by being positive.
This is a difficult situation. We know from research that if adults in schools support bullying or think that it's OK, that bullying occurs at higher levels in those classrooms/schools. You took the right steps by going to the teacher first and then to the principal. I'm glad that the principal was supportive and I'm glad that your daughter is going to the counselor. As a parent, I would read books about bullying with your daughter such as "Blue Cheese Breath and Stinky Feet" by Catherine DePino and "Say Something" by Peggy Moss. There are a lot of great kids books about bullying that you can get at the library or your local bookstore. I would also encourge friendships outside of the classroom and I would encourge your daughter to be involved in activities (sports, music, dance, etc.). There are some fun, educational activity books that you can do with your dughter to show her how much fun learning is. Education.com has some great suggestions for parents about how to supplement their child's education. I would also share this special issue on bullying with your child's principal and print out the articles about the role of teachers in bullying behaviors and give them to the principal to share with her staff. It takes a collective effort to reduce bullying. Good luck!
There is a great resource on this website to take advantage of and I have inserted the link below. If you click the link, Ten Actions Parents Can Take to Help Eliminate Bullying (en Español), it would be a great starting point to helping your child at home! Good Luck!
Our situation is very similar except the teacher was the main abuser. We recorded our sons class for months when we confronted the teacher, the Chapel teacher, and the principal the abuse was worse. Our son attended Bethlehem Christian Academy, in Hazel Green Alabama. Since this is a private school there is no recourse for the abuse. The school claimed on their web site to be awaiting accreditation from two companies, but when I contacted those companies I was told that BCA is not a member nor are they awaiting anything from either. Even though the teacher holds a certificate from the state of Alabama I have been told there is nothing that the State Superintendents office can do, not an investigation or even a reprimand in her permanent file. Our sons Dr. think that he has post traumatic syndrome because of all this. So a loving little man learned hate, mistrust, and harm from a Christian school. We know through love and reassurance our son will over come all of this, it is just so sad that this is such a over-looked and pushed under the rug topic for children to deal with.