carolcristy asks:

What can I do to get my child to do her homework, study & organize her notes & books?

I have a 13 year old that is very bright but she doesn't like to do homework or study. She is also very unorganized & won't let me help her get organized. Last year she always told me that she did the homework or that she didn't get any. She had a problem keeping up with her math last year. She is starting a new & challenging school this year & I am worried about her doing the work & keeping up with the challenging work. She doesn't like me to look in her school bag or her work. She gets nasty with me. What can I do to try to get her to understand that I need to do these things.
In Topics: Back to school, Tests (preparing, taking, anxiety!)
> 60 days ago

aqblickley writes:
Hi carolcristy,

Thanks for using JustAsk!

I find that in my daily life, it can be very difficult to channel my focus to complete tasks (like studying) when I'm feeling disorganized. So, I think it's great that you are aware of and focusing on her organization and time management skills as a major priority. Those issues are at the heart of her academic success.

However, if your daughter isn't feeling the need to get or stay organized, tough love might be the next step. The bottom line is that you are the parent - and she's still young enough that you are in control of her privileges and consequences. Watching TV, talking on the phone, visiting friends' houses - these are all privileges that can be taken away, and you can do that at any time. It won't always be easy, but it might be necessary.

Additionally, there are a few other ways to make homework and study time more effective. Make sure that she's doing her homework in a well-lit environment that's free of distractions like TV, music, and computers. If she needs the computer for her homework, try temporarily disabling the Internet (or forbidding her to go online) until she's finished.

Help her develop a schedule, as well as a set of goals, that's realistic for her. If her grades are suffering right now, it's not fair to expect her to get straight A's within the month. But, with an after-school schedule and a set of short and long term goals, she'll be able to make leaps and bounds academically - sooner rather than later.

I'm attaching a couple articles that may also contain some helpful information. The first focuses on getting your child motivated, and the second focuses on organization.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

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MoonWriter writes:
I have a 10 year old daughter that failed 3 math tests this week and constantly "forgets" to turn in homework assignments that I know I helped her with. I work 3rd shift and get a lot of overtime. My wife checks the school's website to get all the up to minute updates and calls me while I'm asleep all the time to address the problems our daughter is having. I'm tired of the majority of her homework load falling on me.

As soon as I started helping her with her homework, she stopped doing it and waited for me to find the answers for her. She could see that I was getting upset with her and she didn't care. Also she's currently on the school's track team and has the potential to be on a state qualifying relay team. We've told her that she could jeopardize her whole teams chances at the meets if she competes with failing grades. She doesn't seem to care.

My wife's constant option is to do the extra credit work for her. We have her in a private school and I would love to save the money we pay for her tuition and send her to the public school, where if she fails she can repeat and it wouldn't cost me any money, but my wife refuses to consider this option. I can't keep going through this for the rest of her academic life. Any suggestions?

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