The answer to your question really depends on the age of the child you are talking about. If you are talking about a toddler or a preschooler, that is a very different situation than if you are talking about a elementary aged child or a teenager.
If you child is in school, you can get some very good ideas from your school counselor or the child's teacher. Find out if your child displays the same behaviors at school. You and the teachers and counselor should be on the same page with how you deal with his behavior at home and at school.
If you have never attended a parenting class, now might be a good time to brush up on parenting skills. It is always a good idea to learn new techniques at every stage of a child's life: toddler and preschooler, elementary age, and teenage years.
You can also can speak with one of our counselors at our Hotline. We are available 24 hours 7 days a week to help parents with children of all ages. We can also give you referrals to parenting classes in your local area. You can call our toll-free hotline at: 1-800-448-3000, or e-mail us at: firstname.lastname@example.org Our website for parents is also a very good source of information: www.parenting.org
Take care and best to you and your family!
Cynthia, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
It's not that he/she wants 2 but kids have lives that us adults don't expect and its hard 4 them 2 tell us so they live their lives and even though it agaisnt your will they cant just give up thier life.
They can only make the choices there envirnment and u teach them 2 make!
My son is the same. We've found a couple of things that work.
1. Make sure you have eye contact with him when you're talking to him. He'll tune you out if you're not "in his face."
2. Touch him when you talk to him. A hand on his shoulder or gently cupping his chin.
3. Do not offer explanation. "I want you to go to bed because it's late and you need to go to school in the morning" is not as effective as "Bedtime, let's get pjs on."
4. Try to keep things positive. Instead of shouting "It's time for bed, come on pajamas!" say "Alright it's bedtime, come with me and we'll pick out your pajamas."
5. As counterintuitive as it sounds, don't say please. That just makes it sound like you're asking, not telling. "Eat your carrots, please" allows him to say no to your request. "I expect you to eat your carrots" or "Eat your carrots." are more effective.
6. Remember he's a child. Give lots of reminders and don't lose your patience if he forgets things the minute you say them. (This is easier said than done) Remember that when he's busy with something he doesn't want to stop and pick up his toys. Rethink some of your requests to see if they can wait until he's in a more aggreable situation and mood.