Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

I want to first commend you for connecting with us out of concern for your brother. It would seem that you ALL have been through quite a lot of turmoil and grief these past few years.

I would start by seeing if your mom could connect Jack with the guidance counselor in his school.  Perhaps there is a grief counseling group in his school.

You also may be relieved to know that seven year old children often have active imaginations.  They will pretend to be another character (like a super hero), act out what they see on TV or read, and sometimes even want to change their name.  This usually is not abnormal and in time will work itself out with his maturity.  

You can either call him Jack or Jake- but the real question is to ask him why for the name change?  This may open a door for feelings to be exposed and a different kind of discussion- like how much he misses those who have died.  Don't force the discussion, but just open the "window" from time to time to see if he will talk.  Also, feel free to express your feelings and how much you miss your father and grandparents.  Also, having an ill parent is worthy of discussion too, for Jack and you.

Good luck and I hope this helps. Know that there are experts in his school to help and that you don't need to shoulder this issue alone.

Good luck!
Louise Sattler, Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families