Although this must be very upsetting, the behavior you describe is actually relatively common. Called Breath Holding Spells, many children begin exhibiting this behavior about 6 months with a "peak" in the frequency of these spells about age 2. Typically, children aged 4 have grown out of breath holding spells, but there are a small minority of children at aged 8 who may still exhibit them.

The spells generally begin with intense crying as a result of a emotionally or physically intense experience. The crying causes hyperventilation (breathing a lot of air in) and the carbon dioxide in the system causes a brief period of unconsciousness. Children stiffen, turn blue, relaxes, and then begins breathing normally before awakening. This experience is considered harmless and parents do not need to do anything to "revive" the child. Experts believe that some children are more "sensitive" to hyperventilation than other children and, therefore, are more prone to breathing spells.

So, what to do? First, I recommend that you speak with your pediatrician just to rule out all medical explanations (such as seizures). Assuming the behavior is simple breathing spells, some doctors may prescribe iron drops for your child. Next, you should develop a plan for trying to "prevent" tantrums and breathing spells. I understand that preventing these kinds of tantrums is difficult (young children tend to get easily frustrated), but do your best to think through the types of situations the upset your child. Consider ways that you can distract your child when you see the first signs of a tantrum coming on. Provide choices for your child to reduce frustration, "Would you like to put your socks on first or your shirt?"

And, whatever you do, please do not avoid providing structure and limits for your child. It is still your responsibility to show them what is appropriate and inappropriate. Finally, do your best to minimize the amount of attention you give your child when a spell occurs. You do not want to unintentionally reinforce the behavior ("Ah," the child says. "I throw a tantrum, and I get lot's of attention! More, please!").

I have also included a couple of links to articles below on handling temper tantrums.

Warm regards,

Laura Kauffman, Ph.D.
Licensed Child Psychologist
Education.com JustAsk Expert
www.drlaurakauffman.com