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What to do about my children with hostile mother...

Dr. Medoff,

In addition to my children living with me, I have two children that live in another state, one of which I have never seen and the other I have not seen since she was 11 months old. Leave it as said that the situation between the mother and I is hostile.  There has been much drama to take place over the past six years and this reason is why I have not initiated proceedings for visitation.  I have, however, expressed a desire to their mother to be a part of my children's lives.  I have sent presents in the past (some of which were destroyed and sent back) and at times when the mother pretended to be friendly I again expressed a desire to see them (this always ended with her trying to cause problems in my marriage).  The mother is now with a man whom she is going to marry and she has had my children calling him Daddy for a long time.  This is my question, and please, do not sugar coat it: Would my children be better off if I pursued visitation or signed their rights over and tried to see them when they are 18?  This matter needs to be laid to rest, one way or another.  Thank you.
In Topics: Blended families
> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley
Nov 11, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

This is a difficult situation.  Don't sign away your rights, but do pursue some sort of legal visitation agreement.

Children need to know their father and their mother. Don't give up- it's your right to be able to regularly see your children.

I hope this helps you.
Kindest Regards,

Shirley Cress Dudley
MA LPC NCC FACMPE
Director of The Blended and Stepfamily Resource Center
Author of Blended Family Advice
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