Dr. Medoff,

In addition to my children living with me, I have two children that live in another state, one of which I have never seen and the other I have not seen since she was 11 months old. Leave it as said that the situation between the mother and I is hostile.  There has been much drama to take place over the past six years and this reason is why I have not initiated proceedings for visitation.  I have, however, expressed a desire to their mother to be a part of my children's lives.  I have sent presents in the past (some of which were destroyed and sent back) and at times when the mother pretended to be friendly I again expressed a desire to see them (this always ended with her trying to cause problems in my marriage).  The mother is now with a man whom she is going to marry and she has had my children calling him Daddy for a long time.  This is my question, and please, do not sugar coat it: Would my children be better off if I pursued visitation or signed their rights over and tried to see them when they are 18?  This matter needs to be laid to rest, one way or another.  Thank you.