What to do about my child's behavior at school?

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tiredmom asks:

My son is 7 years old and is in first grade. I keep getting notes from his teacher regarding his behavoir. The teacher says that he hits his classmates, and that a few months ago he kissed a boy while playing at recess and was sent to the principals office. Last week I got a note saying that he picking through the other stalls in the bathroom and to top it off today the principal called to say that he pulled his pants down on Friday at recess. we talk to him, we punish him amd we take away the things he likes and seems like nothing is working. other than his behavior he is doing excellent in school his grades are fine. Can soeone give me any suggestions as to what else to do. Im frustrated.

In Topics: School and Academics, My Relationship with my child's school, Discipline and behavior challenges

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Hand in Hand

Mar 23, 2010

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What the Expert Says:

Good for you for looking for help for you and your son. I can see why you might be a "tiredmom"!

School can be a tough fit for some kids, especially kids with lots of energy and self-direction. But remember that your son is a good kid, even if he's having a hard time. Instead of focusing on what is going wrong at school and taking things away from your son for bad behavior, let's see what we can do to bring out his best behavior before he even gets to school.

Every day of the next school week, start your morning with ten minutes of "Special Time." Fill your son up with your warm, playful attention before worrying about a balanced breakfast. Turn the snooze alarm into the snuggle alarm. Make sure you spend that whole ten minutes focused just on him, letting your son know he is loved and cared for and welcomed into this new day, before any of the many mundane chores gobble up your attention. Even ten minutes of your undivided attention can bolster a young child who is anxious about the separations morning often brings.

You'll be amazed how much more effective and cooperative children can be when their need for affectionate connection is given first priority. A happy, confident child is much easier to wrangle out the door to face the busy activities of the day. And a child who feels emotionally connected and relaxed is better able to transition into the school environment and to absorb the day’s learning.

You can learn more about this approach, called Parenting by Connection, and how it helps children with challenging behavior, in the resources below.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes,

Juli Idleman
Hand in Hand Program Director
www.handinhandparenting.org

Resources:

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/12/64/Start-School-Days-with-Special-Time

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/news/11/64/Getting-Through-School-Struggles

http://superprotectivefactor.wordpress.com/2010/02/23/supporting-a-child-in-school/

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Additional Answers (1)

MrsReading , Child Professional, Teacher, Parent writes:

Oh my goodness! Your son is certainly a very colorful character. In my experience, it has been helpful to get everyone together in the same room (your son, his teacher, yourself, and the principal). This way everyone is on the same page and you are letting your son know that you all mean business. You will probably want to talk about why he's doing these things, role play some different alternatives to his current behavior, and set up a behavior plan. Make sure your son knows that you all like him but you do not like the behavior. At the same time make sure you praise him for his positive qualities.

> 60 days ago

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