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eliad
eliad , Parent asks:
Q:

Do you believe in co-sleeping and family bed?

I've been debating Co-Sleeping with my friends for a while now.
My wife and I are against Co-Sleeping and our children are sleeping in their own beds since a very young age (3 months old) my main reason against it is that it seem like a hard thing to break off, plus We loose our own privacy.  Some of my friends don't have their own bed for 3 or 4 years now.
At the end of the day I guess this is very subjective and I learned to accept it! but I'm curious to know what other parents are doing for sleeping.

Do you have a family bed? How does it work for you? when are you planning to move your kids to their own bed?
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Sleep and rest
> 60 days ago

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ginaa
Jul 19, 2009
Level

Best Answer!

what's this?
from a fellow member
I think kellysfinn is so right. It's different from culture to culture. For instance, I'm from India and co-sleeping as it's called here (we don't even have a name for it) is completely normal, especially in the first year of the child's life. It makes feeding time so much easier and is comforting and reassuring for children. The hard part is moving the child out of this arrangement and into their own beds. I think the trick is to do it gradually, setting up a cot in the parents' room and then moving on to a separate room.

There are plenty of benefits to cosleeping. This article cites research by Harvard psychiatrist Michael Commons, which  suggests that co-sleeping may help lower risks of stress disorders in children.
http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html  

For anyone who is considering it, I found a couple of links with some info.

http://baby.about.com/od/sleep/p/cosleeping_explanation.htm
http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/298_29656.asp

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Additional Answers (5)

kellysfinn
kellysfinn , Parent writes:
What I think is so interesting about the cosleeping debate is that there are such varied differences among cultures.  For instance, in Japan, cosleeping is much more common.

I don't think there is an answer, I think whatever parents choose is right for them!
> 60 days ago

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fnasha
fnasha writes:
In my opinion all Border children's issues are good as long as the parents are consistent about them and that they make sense to everybody. We sleep together in a huge mattress (parents + baby) and attached is a small mattress for our 4.5 years old daughter.When she was 4 we set a room for her including bed and all. she slept there for about a week and wanted to be back with us. it's fine by us, as long as she knows that when she needs privacy - she got it. I think sleeping with parents relaxes the child and brings confidence - as long as the parent is comfortable with that.
> 60 days ago

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B!lly
B!lly , Parent writes:
Co-sleeping has worked well for us.  You make a great point about losing privacy in your post, that is the major down-side.  The opportunity is more than the cost though for us, especially given the easy closeness after being away from the child much of the work-day.  We can't have everything, it's a matter of what's most important to the individuals involved.
> 60 days ago

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CreativeRachna
CreativeRac... , Child Professional, Teacher writes:
Co-sleeping is an interesting question and a hot topic these days.  Usually, most parents try to get their kids into their own crib and in their own room by age one or two.  On the flip side, many parents like to continue the bond by keeping their child in the bed with them.  Having the child get used to sleeping in their own bed in their own room at an early age also fosters independence.  Children learn to start depending on themselves and learning to be alone.  And with moving them to their own bed, establishes implicit rules such as mommy and daddy need "us" time.  I'm including a resource article which discusses good sleeping habits.

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Bedtime_habits/

I hope this helps!
Rachna
> 60 days ago

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PepeKaliwete
PepeKaliwete writes:
It's more of a cultural thing, as a couple of people have already said. We have 3 kids. The oldest is 20, the middle child is 17, the youngest is 11. All 3 slept with us in our bedroom as they were growing up. My wife opposed it at first. She wasn't raised that way but I was. I grew up in a very large family and all the kids practically slept on top of each other on the floor while my parents slept on their bed with at least one or two of my siblings with them. It was normal for us. It was also because we were poor and didn't have much of a choice. But I firmly believe that it's one of the reasons why we (siblings) are very close to each other. My kids have always had their own rooms but most nights when they were toddlers, they preferred to sleep with us or snuck in in the middle of the night. Eventually, they just out grew it. We had no issues with any of them not wanting to sleep in their own beds. Yeah, we lost some privacy during those ealry years but the bond we have as a family is a lifetime.

So, to answer your question; I see nothing wrong with it. I feel that it's more or a cultural thing. And let me add this. Whenever my wife and I wanted to get intimate and couldn't because one of kids in bed were sleeping in our bed, we got creative and picked other places around the house for our private moments. It really spiced up our marriage.
> 60 days ago

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