kappock asks:

The coach cut 9, and told 15 they made the team. He told my daughter and another girl she had to observe them for 2 days and then he would let them know who's cut. Am I out of line to be upset?

My daughter has been a member of the team freshman and sophomore years, each year with different coaches. All the kids from the previous year made the team but her.  She practiced Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday - The coach had meetings on Tuesday letting the kids cut know and the ones that made the team know.  My daughter and one other girl were told that she would not decide who would make the team out of the two of them til Thursday.  The other girl only made it to the Tuesday practice.  My daughter is very upset and has quit the team - I am really upset with the school for being so insensitive, if they were to cut her I think it should have been done on Tuesday, don't adults need to make decisions when they make deadlines.  Am I out of line to be upset by the way this was handled, I called the sports director and he pretty much blew me off.  
In Topics: Sports and athletics
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

mleano8 , Student writes:
Dear Kappock,

You have every right to be upset about the entire ordeal with all things considered. Your daughter has made the team in years passed and was at all the practices this year and yet the NEW coach was unconvinced she deserved a roster spot. Had this been my daughter, I would have been very upset myself and would have approached the coach and the sports director demanding some sort of explanation. These are the kind of life experiences that can really take a shot at a child's self-esteem.

If you don't mind, let's look at this from another perspective and give them a little benefit of the doubt. This new coach has his/her own way of doing things and it's tough to say what he was looking for or what he expected. Yes, I agree that he probably should have made final roster cuts on the Tuesday instead of putting the two girls under a microscope for two days. But on the flip side, maybe he thought these girls could bring some versatility to the team and wanted more time to make the right decision. It's not uncommon for coaches to make mulitple cuts during a tryout period. I also agree that the sports director should have showed a little more sensitivity to the subject. But I can guarantee that this was not the first (nor will it be the last) time a parent has contacted him upset about their child. Not to say you were wrong at all, I just wanted to point out that parents coming at him time after time has probably desensitized him.

With that said, all of this is in the past now and is beyond you and your daughter's control. The important thing is how you and your daughter react and come out of this whole experience. It will be important to really support your daughter and make sure that if she loves playing this sport, do not let her quit. Instead, use this to fuel your daughter instead of letting it get down on her. I know this may not be the best example, but Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team because "he was too short." But, instead of giving up, he worked extremely hard and used that as motivation to never quit and to outtrain everybody else. I think in the end he actually thanked that coach for cutting him because he used that to fuel his drive to the very top.

Looking forward, your daughter can use this for motivation for next year's tryout. Help her work hard, train hard, practice hard and really give it a 110%. Give the coach no excuse to cut her. If not, she'll at least feel good about herself knowing she laid it all out on the field and truly gave it her all....that is by far the most important thing.

"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence,regardless of their chosen field of endeavor" - Vince Lombardi

Best of luck.
> 60 days ago

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