I have a 13 year old daughter that is so sweet and smart and funny but has no friends. Every time she meets someone that she likes they act like a friend for a few weeks then end up hurting her. She bends over backwards doing things for them, defends them if anybody says anything about them and always ends up getting hurt. This has happened over and over and when i try to tell her things that might help she gets mad at me and says (if they don't like me the way i am the heck with them), and yes I've always encouraged her to be herself but it breaks my heart when the phone never rings and she never gets invited anywhere. She just sits home with me all the time. Please help, Suzy and Shannon
Dear Suzy and Shannon,
I would love to help your daughter, but I have some questions and this isn't the best format for a back and forth private exchange. Here is my contact link... http://www.anniefox.com/about.html Please send me an email and we'll connect there.
Try getting her involved in a sport or other activities like swim team, volleyball, basketball, classes at you local rec center or the YMCA. The more involved she is the more likely she will make friends
I have been in this sittuation before and im trying to give advice to my nine year old cousin with this problem also. I think something you can try to tell your daughter is try to get to know about their personality first and if you like them then be their friend. If she has already tried that then tell her that she needs to believen herself and who she is and that she doesnt need to defend them and bend backwards all the time because then they are going to use her real easily. Also tell her that she needs to be herself and appreciate that. and that eventually someone will be her friend. I have once bent backwards and defended one of my new friends in 6th grade and ended up almost not having one of my best friends. So take it from me that you dont always want to bend backwards and always defending that person and try to be yourself and appreciate that because you will never be able to take that away from you. Good Luck. :)