In your case, pre-teaching might really help. By pre-teaching, you're telling your daughter what it is you expect of her and why. Here are the steps:
1. Describe the positive behavior - "When you get mad at me, I want you to tell me you're mad and not hit or kick."
2. Give a reason - "I'm more likely to listen to what you have to say than if you hit me."
3. Practice - "Now let's say I tell you 'no,' and that makes you mad. What are you going to do?"
Hopefully a little pre-teaching will improve the situation.