My daughter tries to get attention from others by making up injuries

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risharithu asks:

My 9 year old daughter put a bandages all over her hand and told us that her pinky is hurting then we asked why don't we put the bandage on only pinky then , she was link no I need it for whole hand , she was not comfortable when I confronted her that is she trying to get attention of others , This is just an one example of this incident which happened yesterday but I have seen her to to please people a lot , How can I help her to grow out of this habit.

In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Discipline and behavior challenges

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jan 20, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

Hello,

It does sound like your daughter is trying to get attention by using things like Band-Aids on her hand. If it's attention she wants, perhaps your focus should be on helping her find out what KIND of attention is good. Malingering, obviously, will get you attention, but not good attention.

One thing you could do is increase the amount of one-on-one time you give your daughter. Maybe once a week you could plan to spend an hour or so with her, either going out for ice cream, shopping, even just grocery shopping and running errands. Let her talk about whatever she wants and listen. Not only does this help you build your communication with her, but if she feels like someone is listening, she may not feel the need to search for attention.

Another thing you could do is point out all the things about her that she should be proud of. Remind her that she has pretty eyes, a pretty voice, she's a snappy dresser, she's good in church, etc. She's a special, unique person, and people will notice that. She doesn't have to try so hard to earn the attention of others.

Good luck!

MKM, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Resources:

http://www.BoysTown.org/

http://www.Parenting.org/

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