My daughter is being made fun of cause she "came out of the closet" What should I do? She's in the 8th grade

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HighSchoolA... asks:

she think about killing herself. I couldn't bear that..

In Topics: Teen issues, Depression

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline

Jan 27, 2011

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What the Expert Says:

No matter why kids are teasing your daughter, it is difficult for you as her parent to witness. The number one thing that will be important for you to do is to provide her with plenty of support at home. Kids who feel supported, feel good about themselves, have the ability to share their feelings, and who are able to problem solve are less likely to attempt suicide.

So make your home a place where she can relax and be herself. Help her to feel good about herself by praising her unique qualities. Listen when she needs to talk about her problems. Help her to focus on her feelings rather than passing any judgment or telling her what to do. If she can begin to find her own solutions to her problems, it will empower her to be able to deal with others who are teasing her.

You might also encourage her to do things like journaling her feelings, or working out frustrations by excercising or just taking a walk. Some people like to write a letter to someone who has hurt them--they can get all their feelings out, but they rip it up rather than give it to the person. Another thing that you may want to help her to identify is how to respond when someone teases them, and maybe even how to avoid situations in the future.

Most importantly, if she is suicidal she needs to know that she can come talk to you for help. Many kids don't know where to turn when they are feeling like this and that's when they turn to self harm. So be that support for her. With a strong relationship & open communication, you can both make it through this difficult time.

Kris, Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000

Resources:

http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org

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Additional Answers (4)

AmericanAct... writes:

If she's in the eighth grade, she's still "discovering herself." It's hard to tell at this point whether it's a phase or something longer lasting. You know for facts, though, that she's your daughter and that she's still maturing. Do all that is necessary to maintain trust and respect between you, keep channels of communication open, and listen more than you talk. This doesn't mean denying your principles. It does mean, though, that the highest of all principles is love.

> 60 days ago

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jessie205 writes:

I think that the family needs to let her no that she is always going to have someone to support her no matter what she is doing because if she feels like no one is there for her it's going to make things alot worse for her. She is not the only person in this world that may or may not be a lesbian or by sexual or straight which ever one she is still your child and everyone has to accept that is what she is happy with even though we can't choose which way in life they decide to take as they get older we just have to let them no we are there for them. Another thing she can do is get a notebook and when she is feeling this way write down how she is feeling and why she is feeling that way, she dont have to tell anyone what she is writing it's to help her and make her feel better I no because I've been in the same situation that she's in and you feel like everyone is against you and you have no friends or family either when really you do but at this point and time you don't think so, you may also want to talk to her family doctor and she what he or she recommends that needs to be done but maybe this will be helpfull and tell her she is not ALONE that you are there for her no matter what

> 60 days ago

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haileycolt writes:

Support her let her know that you love her and talk to school counselors and administration to get the bullying to stop. Help her find a way to express herself through art or music or blogging. help her find something like that so she can get all of that negative energy out and help her relax and be more in touch with herself.

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colbzyquack writes:

sounds like she is crying for attention, and probably wants it from one parent or both, a child this age is too young to know what she wants and desires for her life. She needs guidance.... Perhaps a church counselor or school counselor? And a phychiatrist evaluation for depression and anxiety would be good. If a teen talks or thinks of killing self , you Need to intervene ! She needs help and support. And just some one on one with your daughter would be good. Help her to feel she can always come to you and talk to you about anything....Dont be judgmental , just listen, and hug her and always let her know she is Loved.

> 60 days ago

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