raymom asks:

How can I tell if my daughter is telling the truth?

My 15 year old  daughter is currently on a one year exchange program at a boarding school. Last month a friend of mine gave my daughter her credit card so she can go  the hairdresser, treating her for a hair do. Later, my friend discovered that my daughter spent $500 on her card and she was upset with her, at first my daughter denied and she said it was stolen from her , but when my friend told her that the credit card company can track things down , my daughter confessed, apologized and gave back an amount of $125 she had. The credit card was left with my daughter for a week, she dined out, bought candy, food and ordered pictures.
My friend has a teenager same age as my daughter and lives at  the same dorm, she tod her mom that there has been thefts at the dorm and that it could be my daughter, My daughter swears she would not do such things , we even told her we can ask someone to put the money back and no one will know, she insisted it was not her.
Another incident occurred when she had to give a wrapped envelope that had money to another friend, the envelop was wrapped but it was missing a $100, again she swears it is not her and that the person who put the money miscounted them. Another friend says she has lost a precious old necklace , it was during my daughters visit to her house, there were many other people too. Again my daughter denies taking the necklace and that she would not go to the woman's room . She says that what she did with the credit card is haunting he
In Topics: School and Academics
> 60 days ago



May 30, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Your daughter definitely has a problem with theft and telling the truth. I recommend a professional assessment and counseling to address her behaviors. She needs to experience the natural consequences for her behavior. Interventions may include an apology to the person, earning the money to pay the losses, confronting her with the information that connects her to these incidents of theft. Kleptomania is the compulsion to steal, and your daughter will be caught shoplifting or stealing and have more serious consequences in the future.
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