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AnnonymousJ
AnnonymousJ asks:
Q:

My daughter's father wants every weekend instead of every other weekend, what is your opinion?

My daughter's father and I went through a custody battle for almost the whole year of 2012 ending near November and December. I'm just happy that her attitude toward her father has changed from crying consistently every time she sees him, to now a greeting when she sees him. He lives about an hour to an hour and a half away and we meet halfway for pickup and drop off. He was granted 1st, 3rd, and fifth weekends. Though he he has a slightly better relationship with her now, he doesn't see her for the entire weekend because he works two jobs. His wife spends more time with my daughter than he does. She is just getting used to leaving for these weekends and is newly getting accustomed to her new speech school. Also we are always on the go crying the week and I would like my already weekends to just hang out with her. We have so much fun on the weekends and my son and I definitely feel the void when she is away already. This would be even more than a challenge. I also have a concern that the only reason that he wants her more time is because he would like to reduce child support. He just demanded half time a few weeks ago (which i disagreed to) and wants to claim her for taxes.
In Topics: Single parent families
> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley
May 21, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Your child needs time with mom and dad. If he wants more time with his daughter, that is a good thing. She is primarily with you, so additional time with her dad is healthy and good for her.

I know the times away from your daughter are tough, but this should be time you use for yourself- staying healthy, being with friends, and doing things you like.

I hope that helps.

Kindest Regards,

Shirley Cress Dudley
Founder and Executive Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center.
Author of the book, Blended Family Advice
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Additional Answers (3)

andreast
andreast writes:
In my opinion keep it the way it is if you work just because you have her all week doesn't mean you get to spend any time with her and she needs that mommy nd her time. I'm just going by personal exsperience i was a child with this set up. as visitation and i would have really missed my mommy time
> 60 days ago

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JamielaIsmail
JamielaIsmail , Teacher writes:
when the child support is set at an amount, it cannot be changed.  perhaps you are assuming that is the reason why he is wanting your daughter every weekend.  now is the chance to sit down and lay the cards on the table and ask him to explain why he has this need to see the little girl every weekend.  i am glad that she is responding more positively to her dad.  perhaps with her being by her dad, gives you extra time with your son.  this could be bonding time for you two.
> 60 days ago

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DemondJackson
DemondJackson writes:
I think it's unfortunate your daughter's father lives an hour and a half away.  If he were in the same city, you could probably work things out to where he is able to see her everyday.  Because of the relationship breakup, things will never seem "fair".  You both will want access to the child at the same time.  As a single parent, you must learn sacrifice.  Is it possible for you and your children to do fun things during the week?  The reason i ask is because I say if the father wants his daughter every week and there's not a really good reason to deny him, you should give it to him.
> 60 days ago

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