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LolaOO7
LolaOO7 asks:
Q:

My daughter has been struggling in first grade. Should I put her in Kindergarten again??

My 5 years old girl is in First Grade. She turn 6 in December. Her kindergarten was very poor. And now in 1st grade she did not finish her assignments in classroom and I usually spend 2hours doing home works with her. I'm very worried about it cause she's socially immature, she likes to play and she do not like to stay sit all day. I'm thinking on putting her again in Kindergarten. What should I do?
In Topics: Kindergarten readiness, Learning issues and special needs
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Susan
Oct 14, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hi there,
There are two main reasons to hold a child back, and often these both need to occur together to make a compelling argument to hold a child back: 1. The child is lagging behind significantly in academics (not just in one area, but in all areas--reading, math, writing) 2. The child is having significant trouble socially in a way that has a good chance of improving dramatically with an extra year because she is 'immature' or 'young' and not having trouble because of a social problem like Aspergers or autism that an extra year won't necessarily help significantly. this might be a good time for her to have a full evaluation to determine why she is struggling so much. it is possible that she has a learning disability or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder that needs to be addressed (not that she would need to be held back for this). So, I'd suggest a full psychological and academic assessment so that if she does need any services you could have them in place as soon as possible. Holding back a child with learning issues, isn't a solution, the issues will still exist and the child will still need extra support. Hope this helps!

Good Wishes and Great Parenting,
Dr Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
NEW book “The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask”

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Additional Answers (12)

ChildSpeechLanguage
ChildSpeech... , Child Professional writes:
Because you and your daughter's teachers are likely the people to be most familiar with your daughter's abilities, it's a good idea to start by speaking to your daughter's teachers.  Schedule a meeting with both of them, and let them know of your concerns.  They can likely give you recommendations based on what they've seen with your daughter's academic and social abilities.
> 60 days ago

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pigtoria
pigtoria writes:
Hi Lola007,

 Your situation sounds so familiar as it was exactly what I went through last year with my second grader.  The only difference is that my son had the best kindergarten teacher.  The kindergarten teacher’s method of teaching phonics taught the children to be great spellers, developed great reading skills, and children in her class can pronounce new sight words with 95% accuracy.  She instilled many creating writing skills in the children.  She also has the most intelligent technique of teaching kindergarteners fractions to the point they actually understood what fractions are and do.  Despite all this, doing homework with my son when he was in first grade was like pulling teeth for an hour or two every night.

 From my observations, there is a big gap – academically – of what is expected of children in kindergarten and first grade.  In kindergarten, children are taught the ABCs, numbers and its name, and writing 3-5 words sentences.  Whereas in first grade, they are expected to write unique lengthy sentences for their spelling words, genuine sentences for book report (they cannot copy what is written in the book), and knowing our currency coin system well (for example, how to use the least amount of coins to represent 72 cents), and simple multiplication and division.  This is expecting a lot from 6-year-olds.

 Nightly homework of an hour and two hours on Wednesday when my son has spelling sentences and book report to do was our routine for the whole entire school year last year.  Yes, my son brought lots of assignments that he did not finish in class and did it as part of his homework and the most devastating thing was that those in class assignments were always marked as “late” along with an unhappy face.  My son is a bright child whose math and reading skills has always been one grade level ahead but he struggled in first grade with homework assignments.

 Regarding your question of whether to put your child back in kindergarten  - to fully assess a child, you must look at the “whole” child development which include the four big areas of physical, social, emotional, and cognitive.  If your child is on par with the other 6-year-olds in more than two of these areas then there is no reason to hold her back.  You can always talk to the teacher as s/he would to the best judge of how a 6-year-olds should be.  Ultimately, the decision is yours and do follow your heart because that’s where the answer is.  Good luck!

Vicki
> 60 days ago

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aqblickley
aqblickley writes:
Hi Lola,

In addition to the previous answers you've received, I also thought you might be interested in seeing this feature on what to expect in first grade (linked in the Resources section below). I suggest you browse through some of the different articles included in the feature, such as "According to the School Psychologist," and "Your First Grader's Social Life."

While social skills are a big part of what kids learn in kindergarten, they also build much further in first grade, as well. It's good to be informed about what kids are expected to be doing in first grade, but also what's normal for them to still be lacking socially. For example, it's totally expected for first graders to have an undeveloped sense of self control and an inability to tolerate failure.

However, two hours is a long time to be spent doing homework, especially at that young age. I would definitely have to agree with previous answers that it's a great idea to sit down and talk with your child's teacher about his or her perception of your child's level.

Hope this helps, and thanks for asking!

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LolaOO7
LolaOO7 writes:
Thanks so much for your help and oponion!! I'll meet with her teacher cause I need to know what she thinks about moving her to kinder..
> 60 days ago

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baybaychild
baybaychild writes:
No you should not you should get her a homework tutor and then she will get good in her school work,so go to this website www.tutors.com
> 60 days ago

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badass1
badass1 writes:
u should consider her future she may need it at the same time u may regret it at a later date i personally, was optionally held back by parents in kindergarten and always wished i hadn't it didnt help me but u may never no until u try it so its up to u if u want to take the leap and make sure to think of your childs future when acting
> 60 days ago

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bittycent
bittycent writes:
no just get her a tutor
> 60 days ago

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Txmadmom71
Txmadmom71 , Parent writes:
Not Yet.. Try other things first!
Talk to her Teacher(s) See if they have Programs like Reading recovery (if her issues are with reading related areas) Also, see if they have a 501 type program, Sometimes Teachers (depending on the Size of your School and Classroom Numbers) can make accomidations like Limiting the Number of Problems in Math (if there are 30 problems they may cut them to 20) or if its Spelling cut from 20 words to 10 or 15... Sometimes kids just Do not work as FAST others! But, YOU have to work with the Teachers and or the Education Cooridnators or Counselors.
My daughter did Repeat both 1st and 2nd Grades... 1st grade due to absences, she was Premature and had Resporatory Issues and went to the Doctor Every friday for treatments... The second grade was Probably Preventable had we known about the reading Recovery and 501 programs Sooner!  But once in Place the 501 program was a godsend. She just Needed More Time, She didn't process stuff as FAST as Other Students!
Good Luck Hope this Helps! Remember, YOU ARE HER ADVOCATE! You have to be INVOLVED and ASK Questions.. SOMETIMES More than Once and SOmetimes Multiple People! No one ELSE is going to be there to HELP HER!
God Bless and Best of Luck!
> 60 days ago

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Txmadmom71
Txmadmom71 , Parent writes:
There are Several things you can do to help her.  
     Plus, you can speak to the Teacher and Counselors or the Advisory Teachers (the Teachers go to them)  If she is struggeling with Reading, There are Programs in some States/School districts called Reading Recovery... It's Not Special Ed, But it uses different Techniques to RE TEACH the Basics of Reading.  Also, You can go to Wal Mart or a Book Store and Find Workbooks that Help at Home to Teach/Re Teach/Re Inforce the Basics.. There is a Series called "what Your _______ grader should Know" It goes from Pre K up for every grade thru at least 6th grade... I used to buy them at Wal Mart... Also some Education Stores (where Teachers Buy things) sell Home Schooling Tools and Tools to help Parents Help their kids.
I would ask Your Childs Teachers For Assistance or at least for resources.
     Also Some STATES (LIKE TEXAS) have websites that have Resources and Tools that you can Print off and use or Workbooks you can get to help you teach/Practice the Skills they ar expected to know! Here in texas you can Literally go to the Texas Education Association or TEA website and they have lists of links you can click on by grade level. There is Even a Study guide and OLD Issues of the Big State Test the "TAKS Test" So kids can take Practice tests to know what to EXPECT when they get to the next level. It increases by grade level in number of subjects and Quantity of Problems etc.
     Best Of Luck in Helping your daughter i hope it all works out for her! Just Remeber, You are her Best source of help, Your the MOST Invested Person in her corner!
Jennifer
> 60 days ago

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mama50
mama50 writes:
I think you should put her back into the kindergarten but when you help with her homework make it a game I did with my children and it worked but not might be for everyone else.
> 60 days ago

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Aprilshowers96
Aprilshower... writes:
I am a mother going through the same situation as you. My son has been struggling too. He is 6 years old. He is the youngest in his class. He was barely the age at the time he was accepted.  I too spend 1-2 hours working with my child.  His teacher even suggested that I put him back a grade. She said his reading is a level 3 and it should be a level 12.

I have experience, being put back a grade myself.  I know what its like.  My parents had me do kindergarten twice.


To this day, I hated that decision.  I know my parents were only doing what was good for me.  But it did more damage then good to me. I am 39 years old and I still feel that pain.  Many people would say, its been years, why does it bother you now.    When I was put back, a year, it started a chain reaction in myself.  Throughout my years, I always fault behind socially and mentally. What upsets me the most, is that teachers suggest you put your child back when they have never experience it before themselves.  You give me one teacher that was put back a grade in their younger years to suggest to another parent that is OK.    I know this, because a teacher that experience what I experience would of never suggested it.

Your doing a great job in working with your child and you are showing the love needed to encourage your child. No matter how hard it gets for you. Never give up.    I don't believe in putting back a child.   I believe some children its OK to work harder with then others.      I was one of them.    

There is just so many hidden problems that the outside world can't begin to understand or see that our children experience in their lifetime. The parents and teachers always seem to know better.   But on this choice, I say NO.  The the truth is, Your child has more to offer then you will ever know.    You just have to dig for it.
> 60 days ago

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oslvsdopey3
oslvsdopey3 writes:
When i was a stay at home mom, I taught my children anything and everything I could to prepare them for kindergarten. They never attended pre-school and they are so smart. I would recommend the fisherpriceonline website that has kids learning games, sit down with flash cards with her, or Hooked on Phonics is really neat too. My kids also learned and still learn from the television shows on the nickjr and sprout channels(of course they weren't aware they were learning). It all depends how often she's receiving the help she needs and how fast she can develop the skills she needs before passing to the next grade. I would probably recommend leaving her in the grade she's in rather than taking her back unless she gets better. But don't worry, my child was socially immature as well, likes to talk and play and gets easily distracted. She wants to make us proud and we are very strict and explain to her the consequences of disobeying and bring home uncompleted work. I hope I helped you some!
> 60 days ago

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