annan asks:

How can our (only) daughter-father relationship improve?

She just graduated from U. where she rebelled n became independent. Is it too late?
Question asked after reading:
In Topics: Fatherhood
> 60 days ago


Answers (1)

aqblickley writes:
Hi Annan,

Thanks for using JustAsk!

In my opinion, it's never too late to improve, or even begin, building a relationship -- especially with one's children (or parents). I can tell you from personal experience that it takes time, and sometimes the process can be very, very gradual.

Try taking some time out with your daughter to do special things together. Go to the movies, go out to lunch, read in the park, attend a sporting event, etc. The options are endless, and completely up to you! And remember, some of the most meaningful outings are the least expensive. Try to pick something that she enjoys, and whether she lets on or not, I'll bet she notices the effort you put in.

Keep an open line of communication. Try to remember that although you know exactly how you feel, it may not be clear to her. So, most importantly TELL her. Don't just shower her with gifts -- let her know how much she means to you with words. And on the other hand, make sure to listen to her. Since she went away to school, there may be things that she has the urge to talk to someone about, but don't be surprised if takes a little coaxing to get the point where she feels like she can talk freely (even if you two talked openly before).

It may take some time, but I think she'll come around! Try not to give up - it'll be worth it in the end.

Hope this helps!
> 60 days ago

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