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hartsweb
hartsweb asks:
Q:

Disabled son assaulted on school site

My son, who has a bone disease and is a wheelchair user was purposefully hit over the knee, that he had had surgery on 2 weeks previously by a girl in his year with her shoe. It was a purposeful act to cause him harm and it has done so. She hit him quite hard. I also work at the school, the first aider fetched me and I had to tell them to Ice pack it! The vice principle then arrived and literally dismissed me! We have had to have emergency physio, extra appointments and scans and my son is now in pain again. All the school have done is taken her prefect tie off her. I have spoken to the police, but they say because it happened on school premises they cannot get involved. Surely this cannot be right? Can anyone offer any suggestions? My son who is top set, G&T and deputy head boy is not refusing to go to school and all they are saying is that he has to put it behind him and move on. I am furious!
In Topics: School and Academics, Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Sep 30, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

We are so sorry to hear about what is happening at the school.  It sounds like it has been very traumatic for you and your son.  We don't know what the rules or laws are at your school or why things have occured in the fashion that they have.  We can understand why you would be so frustrated.  

Does your son have any friends at school that he could turn to and rely on during this difficult time?  Sometimes the peers of students can offer more support than anybody else because they are close to our children in a different way than we are.  If he does have friends at school it may be worth it to get them together and see if they could help him out.  Maybe they could look out for him, stand up for him, and be there for him if he is having a rough day.  Also if they demonstrate support, they may be able to convince him to get back to school sooner.  We are sorry that your son feels so unsafe that he is unwilling to even attend.

If you find that nothing changes as time goes on, it may be good to consider a transfer for your son to somewhere that he may feel safe.  Please continue to talk to people at your school and see if you can get a clear answer on why things happened the way that they did.  If done from an approach of problem solving without too much blaming, you may be able to instigate change in the entire school.  If they are willing to shrug this off, they may do the same thing in the future to another student.  Attempt to get clear answers, which can only be done by focusing on cirriculum and policies and procedures instead of what directly happened with your son.  Have to spoken to other staff at the school?  What is their reaction?

We wish you and your son the best in this situation.  It may even be good to see if there are any local nonprofits or other organizations that can provide some education to the school about bullying.  This could raise awareness and instigate change.  

Good luck!

Counselor, Dominic
Boys Town National Hotline-A Hotline for Parents and Teens
1-800-448-3000
www.parenting.org

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Additional Answers (3)

MissCook
MissCook writes:
OH MY GOSH! I am a special education teacher and am outraged at your situation! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this issue, BUT, you should be able to get the police involved. I can't believe they are telling you they can't get involved. There is actually a situation in the system that I work in where a student was beaten up on school property. The victim had to go to the ER, had a brain scan because there was a possibility of neurological damage. Guess what the school did? Only 3 days of suspension for the bully and now it seems as though they are trying to protect the bully rather than the victim. The family wanted to press charges but was told by the local police that they couldn't handle the situation. SO, the family went to the District Attorney and the DA told them that the police had no right to tell them that and would be handling their situation.

My advice to you would be to go to your local DA and see what they can do. If the school isn't doing anything to punish the other student, this situation could become bigger than necessary. I hope that helps and that you can find some sort of peace over this issue. But if I were you, I wouldn't let this situation rest until justice was served. If it were me I stick it to them, even if I became one of the most hated mothers at the school. I have zero tolerance for bullying, so I hope you can get some answers and justification.
> 60 days ago

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adventurezinchildrearing
adventurezi... writes:
I'm not sure what state you are in - but there should be a "no tolerance" policy in place. Make a file- gather all the information from the Dr. about injury- if you can possibly add a short statement from the first aide attendant who contacted you - if all they can say is that your son was hurt but cannot identify the attacker - at least you have something. Your son can also put a statement in writing. Make copies, possibly even speak to an abuse counselor through a non-profit agency who deals with abuse and get it in writing. Put it all together with a letter asking the school to take action to protect your son and others and to help the child who is doing the bullying get the help she needs. Putting it in writing makes all the difference. If you were to have a further incident you would have proof. It is not true that the police cannot get involved. They are called to schools all the time - again, having it all in writing and presenting it to someone higher up at the station should help you get something done. Document the names and dates of people who tell you they cannot help. Make sure they know it and that all you want is to protect your son and make sure the other child gets needed help. Keep after it. Don't take no for an answer. This is serious. Especially because of your sons condition.
> 60 days ago

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improvedme11
improvedme11 writes:
awwww what a shamefully life :(
> 60 days ago

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