My son is 15 months old, he doesn't listen when I tell him no, he laughs at me, he smacks, throws things and pushes us all to absolute limit!! I don't wanna smack although at times I've smacked his nappy or his leg, I don't want that to be an answer (it doesn't stop him anyway). He screams and shouts, he's cranky a lot and nothing I do is good enough! I'm at my wits end with him and could desperately use some advice :(
I'm so sorry you sound so frustrated! I think this is a child who, before you feel this way, needs a hug, a book and a nap! Our schedules are so busy that according to webMD I think 80% of children are not gettin enough sleep. http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/sleep-children
And the Mn science museum had this great display of experiments showing the developmental milestones of children through little activities you can do with them. Some of the resources are below- but one is that until after 5 years (I think) it is IMPOSSIBLE for the child's brain to comprehend the experience of someone else.
So he's not tryin to upset you and I think he is too young for what we traditionally think of as "discipline" and instead needs more attention and gentle guidance and probably sleep.
AND you need to make sure you are getting the support you need too. Do you have a good mother-based network of friends and family? Look up a mothers and more group or yahoo API group in your area. And go to the park and make friends with the mothers who inspire you.
When you want him to do something it is best to right away guide him to the event and expect less. He's so young- just think of all the learning filling his brain every second- it's really not possible for him to stay on task or follow verbal directions- doing the motions together lovingly every day will imprint that pathway in his brain and months from now he will surprise you by doing it on his own! Give yourself a big hug and know you are his greatest love right now!
when i have been just beside myself I have been known to take a timeout in the bathroom by myself in my childproof house and breathe. This will NOT calm him down but parenting well is impossible when you're angry!