medical asks:

should I discipline my 5 year old when she doesn't follow rules in classroom she will get up from her desk with out permission she doesn't follow rule

In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges
> 60 days ago



Boys Town National Hotline
Jun 20, 2013
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What the Expert Says:

Whether or not to discipline your daughter at home for behaviors at school is dependent on several things.  Is the behavior severe enough that the teacher has contacted you? What consequence is she getting at school? If there are consequences at school, is it working to change her behavior?
When determining if additional consequences at home are needed, you may want to consider reinforcing the absence of the inappropriate behavior rather than giving negative consequences. You should also be sure to discuss the inappropriate behaviors with her, give rationales for why she should follow school rules, explain your expectations for her behavior, and can even practice situations with her at home.

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Additional Answers (1)

Jasmine00 writes:
Your daughter needs to know that you and her teacher communicate regularly about her behaviors, both good and bad. You don't want your child to see school as a negative place by only communicating with her teacher when she is "bad." It sounds like she is testing her limits within the classroom and it is up to you and her teacher to find a system to acknowledge/reward your daughter for following the rules. Perhaps a simple "report card" every day if the teacher is willing. A paper divided into 4 squares. Your child gets a star (or modify to whatever is decided) each time she follows directions. If she gets 4 stars in one day she gets 30 minutes of time with mom or dad to play games. (Again, modify for your household, but try to give gifts of time rather than things.) As the weeks progress, if she is being successful, increase the number of squares on the paper (thus increasing the number of stars she must earn.) Continue until she is again successful. Then move to weekly reports and "time" is on your days off so as to allow for more quality time with your daughter and maybe a trip to the park or some other such activity. Each time the squares are increased or the reward time postponed (at two weeks then at one month), explain to her that this shows she is growing up and being responsible. Try not to use terms such as "a good girl" or negative terms of "bad, not bad." She is a good girl who needs some intense monitoring for a few weeks so she can be successful for years to come. Left unchecked, she may continue these behaviors throughout her school years, making her days in school unbearable, her teachers exasperated, and you feeling helpless. It's imperative that you help her to understand that we all live in a society of rules that must be followed. I'm sure, over time, you will find you have a happier child who is a joy to have in the classroom as well as at home. These same techniques can be used at home if she refuses to follow YOUR rules. Just remember... she is not a miniature adult. She is a child that needs to learn what behavior is acceptable and what is expected of her in any given situation.
> 60 days ago

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