Anonymous
asks:
Q:
Can i discipline my boyfriends kids???
I am a mother of a 1 year old boy and i'm not really sure how to go about disciplining my boyfriends kids they recently came to live with us in our home and it's the first time in my life i have no idea what to do. he has a 4 year old son and a 2 year old daughter my son has not reached this age yet and i can say i'm definitely not looking forward to it because his kids are very out of control. He says it's because their mother doesn't discipline them i don't know what she does but i'm a very structured woman and the kids have no manners they yell and scream and do pretty much what they want it's basically a no game all day long followed by spankings and time out's from their father. he wants me to discipline them but i'm still not comfortable with that idea since the mother of the kids has no idea about me and that i'm living with my boyfriend/her ex and father of their kids and when they do return to her i'm sure she will find out all about me i love my boyfriends kids to death and i am very calm and gentle with them they just try to get over on me and i don't allow that but i'm more concerned on the disciplining aspect because i don't want to get in trouble for spanking my boyfriends kids without the mothers consent my boyfriend pleads for me to discipline them when he's at work he says he expects me to and it's ok to discipline them if they get out of control and the time out methods dont work i just don't know what to do or how to feel about this situation please help...
In Topics:
Discipline and behavior challenges, Blended families, Single parent families
> 60 days ago
What the Expert Says:
Additional Answers (1)
Spanking is not a effective way of discipling children, in my opinion. Sounds like your boyfriend has not control over his children, so until he learns how to control them effectively, I wouldn't step in especially by spanking. Sounds like he wants you to do the dirty work, because he doesn't want to deal with it. You both need to sit down and figure out a constent plan that wil work amongst all the children. I wounld not tolerate these kids screaming and behaving out of control, but it need to start with you boyfriend. I believe if you are caring for his kids while he is at work then you need to let them know what is acceptable behavior in your house and let them know you will not tolerate this behavior. Disciplining them doesn't have to be spanking them to get them to listen. This usually causes children to be afraid, and untrusting of the parents. You want children to respect you, then you have to give them respect. You won't earn respect by a child by hitting them as a form of punishment. There are better ways than that.
> 60 days ago
