Does it effect a child having a promiscuous mom who is also a compulsive liar?

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Jmacb asks:

I have a child with my ex. She has 4 kids from 4 different men. She doesn't know who the dad is of her oldest child. I don't know how many step dad's my child has had since me and his mom ended our relationship 7 years ago. She has a new boyfriend now who she has a child with too. My child tells me the mom ignores them and has them in front of the TV 24/7.She is also a compulsive liar that lies about everything.When I confront her about anything that my son has told me she says he's a liar. Will her promiscuity and being a compulsive liar effect my child? Is he likely to believe her behavior is "normal"?

In Topics: Self esteem and identity, Fatherhood, Blended families

> 60 days ago

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Expert

ShirleyCressDudley

Feb 2, 2012

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What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry to hear your child isn't experiencing a stable environment at her mom's house. I hear that your primary concern is that your child will think that mom's behavior is normal and O.K.

Kids are very adaptive. She can easily learn that mom's house and dad's house are very different, and that there are different rules and expectations in each house.

You didn't mention your child's age- but I have seen that as children grow older they will tend to follow the example of the more healthy parent (and the parent with the most house rules, boundaries and expectations for the child.) The child sees the results of the healthy behavior and will prefer to model that behavior.

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC
Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center

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