A new baby changes many things in your life- your sleep patterns change, and your daily life changes. The focus does become on the new life, especially in the first few months.
It's important to talk to your four year old about the new baby with a positive and exciting attitude. Talk about how your 4 yr old will be "big sister" or "big brother" and will help with the new baby. Talk about how much this new baby will be loved, and greeted with anticipation and excitement when it arrives, just like he was.
Show your 4 yr old some of his baby pictures and talk about how much he has grown. Tell him how much you love him, and how- when you add a new family member, your heart stretches even bigger to love the new little one, and still love everyone in the family.
If you talk positively, and give your 4 year old a role in this- it will be a wonderful event for everyone. Other ideas:
-Have special gifts set aside just for a 4 year old (an "older child" ) for when people give gives for the baby
-Arrange for some 1 on 1 time with your 4 year old each day, even if it means having someone watch the baby
-Arrange for some special activities, at least once a week, that only older kids can participate in (like have your sister, or friends take your 4 year old out for a special activity) but the baby can not attend.
Good luck and congratulations!
Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC FAMPE
Founder of The Blended and StepFamily Resource Center
Best selling author of the book Blended Family Advice.