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eric m
eric m asks:
Q:

Trying to find out where my child goes to school

I am a dad that is concered about my child's education and i am trying to find out where she goes to school. Her mother is using her as a pawn and will not let me know any information and we both have joint custudy and both parents are to know about their children, education, medical, activities etc..... she is not doing her part as a mother and i am concered about our child. I am a dad that needs some help in this matter. You know there is alot of fathers out there that are going through this and we also have rights as well as mothers do this is what's wrong with the world today i don't want no trouble with the mother or anyone else i just want to know what is going on with our child. concerned and loving father. Thank you very much if you can help me with this matter.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family, Worldwide education issues, Fatherhood
> 60 days ago

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Expert

lkauffman
Apr 8, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

Dear Eric,

This must be very painful and stressful for you. Unfortunately, when relationships deteriorate, the adults involved do not always act with their children's best intentions in mind. Your daughter's mother is negatively affecting your relationship with your daughter, which is very unfortunate given that there is so much research to validate the critical role of fathers (see first link below). Involved fathering is related to fewer behavior problems and improved psychological adjustment. And, perhaps, most importantly, a daughter's relationship with her father influences her experience of close relationships, and ultimately, romantic relationships as an adult.

Of course, the evidence just adds to what you already know - it is inappropriate for your daughter's mother to go against the court's ruling and prohibit your involvement in your daughter's life. Thus, it is critical that you return to your lawyer (if you had a lawyer help you with the legal proceedings) or seek legal counsel on this issue. I have included a second link to a father's organization that lists resources in this area.

Good luck and please continue to fight for your daughter. Hopefully, over time, her mother will become more fair and reasonable, reducing the stress on everyone.

L. Compian, Ph.D.
Counseling Psychologist
Education.com Expert Panel
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Additional Answers (1)

minniemama2003
minniemama2... writes:
This will not be easy but here's what you'll have to do -- I hope that your kids are grade school age by now because the preschools are harder to find and get information from -- Gather your information that you have to prove that you are the father: Your identification along with the birth certificate of the child and any court documents necessary (like custody court orders). Make a list and visit every possible elementary school possible and hope that your wife cannot afford private school. Speak to the principal's secretary in each school. She will either assist or point you in the right direction. Good luck.
> 60 days ago

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