My First grader hates school and fights me every morning. What can I do?
My son had a great time in Kindergarten and was excited all summer for first grade, with in the first few days of school the problems started he fought me every morning. By Wed he had a classroom referral and on Thursday he had two referrals that sent him to the office. I requested a teacher principle conference for the next day to express my concerns with the lack of patience with my child. After this meeting the teacher had nothing but nice things to say about my son for a few weeks. Then the beginning of this week after school she complained about my sons behavior with an annoyed look on her face, the next day she called me during school so that I could tell him to stop playing with his glasses, and the next day he was bulled on the playground and after school(in front of the teacher and myself) and nothing was done to the bully. I confronted her about this and she proceeds to tell me that my son was disobeying her all day she wrote out a referral and threaten to send it if he didn't improve his behavior, he improved. This morning about two hours into school that the campus supervisor calls me and tells me he has been suspended and the teacher attached two referrals. I am requesting my son be transferred to another class my reasons for this are I believe she has already made her mind up about my son and he no longer has a chance in her class. My next step if these teachers can't learn to control the students in their class is to home school.
We are sorry to hear that your son is having such a difficult time in the first grade. First grade can be a very tough year for some children, especially those who attended half day Kindergarten. It is also a year when teachers are expecting more out of their students. They learn to read more fluently and have to sit still for longer periods of time. And, they don't get to "play" as much as they did in Kindergarten.
Hopefully you and your son's teacher and Principal can sit down and discuss what is really going on with your son. For more support, enlist the help of the school counselor or social worker. You and the teachers seem to see the situation with your son very differently. Try to listen to their side of the story and then respond without getting defensive. Let them know your concerns and if it helps, write them down to keep you focused on what you have to say.
No matter what happens, do not let your son hear you talk down to his teachers or to talk bad about them in front of him. Children need to respect their authority figures including parents and teachers. If you feel his teachers are not respecting him, then you should discuss things amongst the adults and not in his presence.
If you would like to talk about this or any other parenting issue, please call our toll-free hotline, or go to our website for more information. We are available 24 hours 7 days a week. Take care and best wishes to you and your son!
Cynthia, Crisis Counselor
Boys Town National Hotline
If it's impossible to get the teacher to take your worries seriously, it may be necessary to get the principal involved. Either way, the most important thing I think, is to try to approach the problem as one member of a team that can come up with a solution. Sounds like there's been quite a bit to get you upset, but you are more likely to get a positive outcome if you can resist the urge to be confrontational. As a parent myself, I know how hard that it! We want to protect our kids and defend them to the end! But approaching as a collaborator will help more.