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swboktor
swboktor asks:
Q:

Should I force my 2.5 year old son to go to daycare?

I have my son he is 2 yars and 8 months, he refuse to go to daycare and cry every morning foy a year . I changed the day daycar and he is still the same he wants to stay home, i am worry about him and i need him to gain social skills and play with other kids, is it too early for him or should i force him?
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Child care
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Developmentalist
Jan 3, 2008

What the Expert Says:

I really feel for you in this situation as my son also had difficulty separating at an early age.  However, by the time he was three, he really understood that I would return!  Here are a few more tips:

1.  I agree with Michael and Danille, you and your son's teacher need to be a team working together.
2.  I recommend this article on our site:  http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Healing_Hurt/
Just copy and paste it into the browser window.  In fact, this organization Hand in Hand Parenting which is one of our partners works with parents on the very issue you are having.  You might want to contact them or order some of their literature.
3.  Make sure that you have the support you need.  I was able to find another mom who also had a child with the same situation and we "coached" and supported each other through the process.  Many of us moms also have difficulty separating and we need the support too.

Best, Denise

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Additional Answers (2)

Danielle
Danielle , Parent writes:
Hi Wesam,<br />
I had a similar experience when my son first went to daycare. I think the most important thing to find out from the daycare provider is whether your son is still upset once he settles in for the day. Often kids will cry when they are dropped off-- even if they have a great time once their mom or dad leaves. I'm no psychologist, but I think it's just their way of letting us moms know that they notice and showing their disapproval. Whether or not your child is &quot;ready&quot; really depends more on the child than it does on age-- plenty of kids thrive in daycare, even at a much younger age. That said, sometimes a full day of daycare can be too much for some children. I don't know your work situation, but have you considered other childcare situations? Kids can get &quot;social skills&quot; in atmospheres other than daycare-- through playdates with other kids one on one, or through a small preschool, or just time in the park. For me, even as a working mom, I decided that daycare wasn't for us and ended up doing a part day preschool and then combining it with a student babysitter, because my son was too overwhelmed in a big daycare setting. Good luck to you.<br />
> 60 days ago

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michaelbartone
michaelbart... writes:
I agree with Danielle. As a teacher sometimes I would see kids come to school kicking and screaming in front of their parents, but once left in the class they were fine. The first thing I would do is, as suggested by Danielle, is to talk to the teachers. You will gain great insight into your child's social abilities. The teacher can provide essential feedback. As well your son, the teacher, and you should sit down and all make an agreement about what is expected when you drop him off. Plus, your son needs to be reassured you are not abandoning him, but like you always do, you will return to pick him up! I wish you the best, but my suggestion is def. talk to the teacher.<br />
> 60 days ago

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