I am a freshman in high school yet I feel as if I am in hell. All I ever get from my parents is that I am worthless and never do anything right.
All I ever hear is how I am not performing in school even though I have all ap classes and low A's and high B's which are good, but they tell me I am worthless. Even one day when doing my homework (which I could not cheat on) they accused me of not showing enough work and told me to go back and do all 60 problems again with more work. So of course I got irritated and began to freak out and yell why. Anyway my dad got up and beat me with a shoe and got furious with me and told me he didn't care how mad I was or how late I had to stay up. This was on a Saturday and even after spending 7 hours doing work they demanded more. He called me garbage and good for nothing and said he wished he never had me. I even spent some time after that considering suicide but got over it but I still feel terrible all the time. This cycle has been happening since the 7th grade. Any help would be greatly appreciated because I don't think I can continue on this way for 4 years.
Please hold on. I know when you are young it seems that what you are going through is all there is, but IT IS NOT! Your life is just beginning. Don't check out, because if you do, the people who put you down will have won. I grew up in an abusive home with a mother much like your father. Nothing I did ever seemed to be good enough, etc. I would come home from school to find that she had searched my room for the cigarettes she accused me of smoking (which I never smoked) or the phone she said I was using to run up the phone bill. School was the only outlet I had, then I realized around 10th grade that if I had good grades I could go away to college, which I did. You will have to let a lot of things roll off your back and keep your head down and do what your parents say. I used to spend as much time in the school library doing homework to minimize time at home. But eventually I escaped to a college at 17 (a year early) at a campus halfway across the country away from my home. It won't be easy, you will have to work hard to keep your grades up to maintain your scholarship, and take on side jobs to pay for books and expenses, but it was so worth the freedom and piece of mind being out of my parent's house. Everybody needs a cheerleader to cheer them on. Find a mentor at school, or at your church, or in the community. Though life was tough, at every rough patch their seemed to be an adult, teacher, counselor or some trusted adult who encouraged me and told me that "you can do it." Even though my life was so hard at the beginning, and college was no piece of cake, I got through. Keep in mind that although your dad may be unreasonable, in the long run, this extra work will actually help you in college. As an adult, I made my own way,graduating, getting a job and eventually marrying a good man, I have great kids, and my own business. Life may have been hard at the beginning, but I'm glad I made it through and so will you. Finally, I don't know if you are religious, but for me, I have to say that talking to God and keeping a journal really helped keep me focused on the big picture and my eyes on the prize.
Look in God's eyes there are no mistakes. Just because your parents aren't helpful doesn't mean others don't care about you. Your parents might not know how to help you and are frustrated so they respond that way. Find a good friend outlet and know that God will help you if you answer when he knocks. Talk to God and people around God and you will never have to face these problems alone. Your right your not perfect but don't yell at your parents because of their ignorance with you. They aren't perfect either. It's okay to honor your parents from a distance and to clear your head walk. Ask questions and answers will come in a positive and good way. Don't give up and have patience. Just because they make you mad is not enough to hurt yourself because of their failures to see the good you have done. Keep up the good work and don't let them get you down. I have been through similar situations too. Christ is my standard because people cannot always be there for you when you need them to be but GOD is. Get your faith and live in Christ and you will see how much better things get.
Someone needs to "adjust" your dad's attitude and get him to lay off and stop beating you. I recommend you get help from the school or police. The minute he hit you he gave you control of the situation. Talk to the school and tell about the verbal abuse you have endured but don't tell about the physical abuse, (maybe tell them he shoves you or slaps you around a little),then get your dad alone and tell him you WILL accuse him of the beating and it will ruin his life and reputation. Let him know that if arrested for beating you, he will at the very least have to go to a bunch of anger management and have a criminal record, and if he EVER does it again, he will do some jail time. Threaten him with courage and conviction, like you are outraged about the abuse, try to sound like you want him to PAY for doing that to you. I bet he will give you some space to breath after that. That is assuming he has not done any serious jail time before, the threat might only make things worse if he is a criminal type.
Hi sweetie, never think you are worthless! If possible, try and record and document everything they say and do to you. If possible, try and ask them what they expect from you, and how they want you to meet their expectations. If that does not work, try and contact family services in your area, or other family members you know you can trust.
First of all you need to believe in yourself even if your parents don't believe in you,not only prove to yourself but to your parents! Always keep your head up and look towards the future and keep moving forward!! I know things that people may say sometimes can hurt you and its hard to ignore but try to meditate on something good for a change to come. Try to position yourself by being around positive people and start setting goals for yourself that will help you in the future, live your life one day at a time and pray about your situation because it's not worth dying over what other people think or say.