Anonymous asks:

What should I do, a friend asked for advice, I wouldn't give any & now they are mad at me because their decision was not right?

A friend asked me for advice, life altering advice, I told them that I couldn't make that decision for them, that they had to decide what was best for them & their family.  After, insisting that I should give my input & finally accepting that I would not, they made their decision, but later when it turns out that they did not like the consequences of that decision, they blame me for not giving my input acting as though I could change their life.  What do I say now?  How do I let them know that it is not my fault that every decision has repercussions and that it is not my fault without loosing this friendship?  Thanks!
Member Added on Mar 10, 2011

I am happy to report that this matter has been resolved.  At the time, I think my friend was just extremely disappointed and was looking for "anyone" to blame, we have talked about this and I believe that they understand that I could not tell them what to do, nor could I have prevented the outcome, I don't know that I would have done anything any differently than they had done.  (It was pertaining to a job), but now they have reconciled their problem with the job and have found a way to adjust to their problems.  
This was a good reminder though, that as we answer questions here on, that we can only offer advice, opinions, maybe receive some professional views, but we can not "tell" someone what to do.  We are all responsible for our decisions and are ultimately the ones who will have to make an educated decision in our life and we are the only ones who will weep the benefits or suffer the consequences of those decisions.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family
> 60 days ago



Mar 13, 2011
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What the Expert Says:

Sorry to hear that your friends put you in such an uncomfortable situation.  It sounds though that you handled it pretty well by letting them decide about their circumstances.  

Your friends should not blame you for their decisions, because ultimately it is up to every individual to decide what course in life to take, and we must be ready for the consequences of our decisions.  Blaming our friends for the outcomes of our actions is immature and inconsiderate.

Have an honest discussion with your friends about this.  If they still seem not to accept responsibility for their actions and want to make you a scape goat, perhaps you should reevaluate their friendship.

Best regards.
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