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TRACEE
TRACEE asks:
Q:

Can a girl bully a boy?

My son is in the 8th grade and there is a girl in the same grade that constantly pushes my son, just the other day slapped him across the face. Calls him names. She has been doing this for a while now.  Like over a year.He knows that he can not "get her back" because he knows better than to hurt a girl. Is he being bullied?
In Topics: Bullying and teasing
> 60 days ago

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Expert

LouiseSattler
May 13, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Hi Tracee and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

I am reading your question and I have come to the conclusion that when one person acts physically, emotionally or verbally negative towards another (and in this case on a consistent basis)- then this is bullying.  The sex of the participants (the person who is being bullied and the one who is preying upon the other) does not matter.  What matters is that one person is being very cruel towards another.

Cruel is NOT Cool is a program that has been started recently by teen author, Annie Fox.  She addresses this very issue and helps families/ kids with suggestions and links for assistance.  Please feel free to check it out for  information that can help you! http://www.anniefox.com/cruel.php

Also, your son and you should consider reporting this girl to the school guidance counselor.  Her negative behaviors could be due to a domino effect, where another person is preying on her, as well.  In addition, she may have others she is bullying who are not as brave as your son to talk about it with a parent.

Thank you for writing.  I wish you and your family the best.

Louise Masin Sattler, NCSP
Nationally Certified School Psychologist
Owner of Signing Families
Host of Learning and Laughter with Louise!  (www.toginet.com)

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Additional Answers (5)

ronald
ronald writes:
Tracee,

Great question. I am so sorry that you and your child are experiencing this ordeal. My two boys were bullied in middle schools. Research shows that boys tend to bully boys; girls tend to bully girls. Nevertheless, the answer to your question is yes; the incidents you described are bullying. According to Dr. Beran, "bullying is defined as a form of aggression that is repetitively exerted against an individual who feels unable to defend him/herself. This aggression may occur directly against someone in a physical (for example, slapping, pushing) or verbal (for example, swearing, name calling) manner. Bullying can also be indirect whereby the targeted person experiences the aggression through others (for example, gossiped about, excluded from a social activity)". I have provided two links that provide a wealth of information for you. I hope this helps.

Ron

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New'New
New'New , Student writes:
Sure Nef! Oh yes, usually it happens in Brother, Sister Relationships but yes it's rare but does happen! And yes your son is being bullied, if you know she's slapping him calling him names you need to go to her parent or guardian speak to them and also have a talk with the girl to see what's up!
> 60 days ago

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cotamom
cotamom writes:
YES!!!!!!!!! I have an 8th grader too ,they don't want to tattle and if they fight back   as in my school it is suspension 1 day. I asked my son to decreetly  go to the guidence counselor and talk to her.he didnt . defended himself cuz he got really pushed (the boy did not want to go to the back of the line and tried to cut in) and got  in trouble.13-14 are tough ages for knowing how to handle  situations  -cota-mom
> 60 days ago

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nitu0101
nitu0101 writes:
Sometimes its because they like them, and there are other times when a boy just does it for fun and thinks its cool. I think its not to a point, it really depends how the girl victim feels, if she is being tortured there is no reason for bullying. But usually a boy would bully a girl so she would give attentsion to him. They just dont admit it.
> 60 days ago

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teencutter
teencutter writes:
he needs to stand up for himself,and yes a girl CAN bully a boy,im a girl and i use to bully boys all the time,take it from me,she prob. will not stop till he stands up for himself(if he cant do it himself,he can get his friends to help
> 60 days ago

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