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Krstguy
Krstguy asks:
Q:

What to do with a first grader who's not doing his school work in school?

I have 2 sons, I also watch 3 other boys.  One of the boys I watch has some behavioral issues.  Such as always playing in  negative manner, not sharing, not listening, no remorse, etc.  I have addressed the parents numerous times and nothing seems to change.  It has effected not just my own kids, but my whole family, including the other 2 boys I watch.  Now his teacher is noticing this behavior, and he refuses to do his work in school.  The mom said I was to leanient, (which I am not) I can only dicsipline so far.  Now they are saying the same thing about the teacher.  They told the teacher it is not their job to do his work that he does not finish at school.  They said they do not have time for that, and that if he does not get his work done at school then he can get whatever grade he deserves.  Basicaly they said if he has to be held back then fine.  I am struck because I know this will teach him nothing.  I can not say anything to them because for whatever reason they are not seeing that their son needs some help.  Do you have any advice for me?  I am to the point that I think I should no longer watch him after school.  All of our kids our in private school, and he can get help if needed but they made it plain and clear they do not have time.
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Child care
> 60 days ago

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Expert

KidAngel
Feb 23, 2009
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What the Expert Says:

Hi Mom,
I see your only option is to tell the parents that you no longer can watch their son. If they want your reasoning simply state to them that you have attempted to inform them of their sons behavioral issues and they have chosen to do nothing to help the situation. State that you are making the best decision you can for the other children in your care. I understand that you do not agree with the parents logic. Unfortunately it is not your child. The responsibility for this child's negative behavior lies with his parents. You can only do what is best for you and the other children. You have tried and have spoken and you are not being heard. Do what you must do and move forward.
Barbara Antinoro
Educational Counselor
Kid Angel Foundation
Education.com Team

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Additional Answers (3)

ronald
ronald writes:
Kristie, I have two boys also. Congratulations on the patience you must have to watch the other 3 boys. I believe you have to decide if the one that is having difficulty is having on a negative impact on the others and on you. If the answer is yes, then you should let the parents know your expectations in terms of the behaviors that are acceptable and those that are not. Maybe someone will respond to give you more strategies for working with the difficult child; otherwise, maybe you should not continue to watch him. There are several articles on this site that may be helpful. I have listed one example:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Self_Esteem_Young/

Ron
> 60 days ago

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michaelbartone
michaelbart... writes:
Hi Kristie,

You are in a very precarious situation. As a former teacher I have had parents let me know their child was not the problem. I would suggest that as long as you make it known to the parents how you feel, then don't feel bad about letting him go from your care.


You aren't giving up on him, but rather you are letting his parents know that this situation is too much for you. Maybe by doing this the parents may rethink their belief that their son doesn't have behavioral issues. Hope this helps and no matter what you do, you'll make the best choice for you and your family.
> 60 days ago

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juniebjonesandherbigfatmouth
juniebjones... writes:
take time for your kids
> 60 days ago

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