My four year old grandson started preschool. He was a very loving child who loves to give hugs. He is the youngest in his class but he is also the biggest. A few weeks ago he started being bullied and now no one wants to play with him. The bully of the class has turned most kids against him. He's having potty issue at school now and is also started to fight back. He's not listening in school or at home. He's starting to hit others now and acting like a different child. He's constantly in time out at school because of his behavior. How can I help him and how should we handle his behavior change without causing more problems.
School should be a safe place for all kids and it is up to the school to do their best to provide a very positive learning environment. If the school is not aware of the problem, we think it would be a good place to start. Letting the teacher know the circumstances and what your grandson is going through will help them figure out the best plan to provide help and a safe environment.
As a grandparent it will be a good idea that you allow your grandson to talk about what is going on. Provide him with positive feedback to how he is feeling. Let him know that you are listening to him and trying to help. Provide him with tactics to try at school instead of physically touching the person who is causing this trouble. It is a natural reaction to want to fight back. We would encourage walking away when kids are being mean. Tell the teacher what happened. Use comments like, "So what" or "It doesn't matter". Word and comments that don't have any emotion attached or comments that require feedback.
When you give your grandson this advice you can even practice/roleplay with him on how to react when someone is bothering him. This will give him some strength and confidence next time someone decides to pick on him.
We wish you all the luck and know that we have counselors available to talk with if you have further questions. 1-800-448-3000
Boys Town National Hotline
90% of bullying could be stopped if teachers would do their job. Listen to students complaints and do something to the offenders. Then let the child know that they are working on solutions. Too many kids that are bullied do not see any result of them telling, they feel ignored. This lowers self- esteem and they internally feel blamed. This will never stop until teacher and school personnel realize that they have this as a responsibility, to act against bullies. Would they want their own kids treated like this.One solution: Teachers need to always be wherever the students are and listen to what's being said between students. When they get older this means in the hallways between classes. All children deserve to feel safe at school, otherwise I feel that the school is as much to blame as the Bully!