Momneedshelp asks:

How do I tell my son's teacher to teach him well without being offensive?

My son is almost six years old . He is in a kindergarden this year. He was born with a birth defficiency . At the end of his school day , he comes home and when we start working on his homework he tells me he doesn't understand anything in class. I think his teacher does not pay attention to his needs that he needs more guidance. How do I should tell his teacher to teach him well and not be offensive at the same time?
In Topics: Working with my child's teacher(s), Learning styles and differences
> 60 days ago



Oct 21, 2010
Subscribe to Expert

What the Expert Says:

I'm sorry your son is having difficulty in kindergarten.  It is not the way you want him to begin his school years.

As for approaching the teacher...  Ask her if you can set up a time for a conference.  I suggest after school so you won't be rushed.  Be open and honest.  

Explain your son's problems.  Stick to the facts.  She might not have background knowledge of the deficiency, so you might have to educate her.  If you have any articles or books dealing with the topic that you can loan her, that might help to open her eyes to the situation.

Then tell her how your son learns best.  For example, does he learn better in small groups, sitting close to the teacher, with manipulatives, visuals, by example or non-example, through stories, etc..  Really think about this because this will help her when teaching your son.  

Ask how you can help.  If you have the time, maybe volunteer one day a week or every other week in the classroom.  This would allow you to see what is being covered in the curriculum, so you can reinforce it at home.  This is not a time to spy on the teacher, but to really help.

Since your son's deficiency will probably play a role throughout his school years, ask what you need to do to start the paper work to get the services he needs.  If his is attending a public school, there are many services from extra help in reading, math and writing to speech and even occupational therapy that are free.  However, screening and testing need to take place first.  The reason I suggest to start now it the process can take several months if not a school year.  If he qualifies then a 504 plan can be written up and your son can get help from educational specialists.

Ask the teacher for a plan - one to be followed at school and one for home.  Communication is key.  You will have to work together in order to do what is best for your son.  If you are open, honest and non-judgmental, I'm sure the teacher will be more than willing to do what's right.  A daily note home might be too much, but maybe a quick phone call (3-5 mins) will work.  Work out a plan that works for both of you. also has some great resources on how to communicate with teachers.  Check out -

Hope that helps.  You are doing the right thing by getting involved now.

Barb Kruger

Did you find this answer useful?

Additional Answers (1)

patriciagola writes:
Is the teacher aware of his birth deficiency?  If she is, she is trained to help children of special needs, at least refer him for testing.  If not, a conference with her showing her a doctor's statement stating the deficiency will be a step in the right direction.  The teacher will then contact the Special Needs department of the school system and arrange for them to evaluate your child as to what services can be provided for the child.  A teacher, with a class of over fifteen students, cannot keep her eye and loving care on just one child.  Each child entering into K for the first time needs the same amount of attention to ease them into the academic world.  By all means talk to the teacher.  She is not a mind reader and as long as you have a positive attitude of wanting to help your child...not stating that SHE is the one lacking...a world of wonders will open to your child.
> 60 days ago

Did you find this answer useful?
Answer this question


You are about to choose ${username}'s answer as the best answer.

Cancel | Continue

*You can change the best answer in the future if you think that you received a better answer

How likely are you to recommend to your friends and colleagues?

Not at all likely
Extremely likely