How can I handle my child that he should understand that studying is a must for him?

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RAJI22 asks:

I am worried about my 10 year old son studying. We both are working when we are back from office and I concentrate on his study. We are very much worried about his studying, he just learns his books properly and gives all replies properly, but, the next day we ask for same question and he forgets everything. Whenever we ask that if you don't understand that he please ask us again and again we do not have any problem. Many times we slap him when he does not study properly and we will change your school many times and he starts crying that please don't change my school.

Please offer some assistance. It breaks my heart to think that my son is not understanding that study is a must for his whole life. Because of financial problem I am working sometime and I just think because of me my child is like that. What should I do?

In Topics: Learning styles and differences, Motivation and achievement at school

> 60 days ago

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Expert

Louiseasl

Feb 26, 2013

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What the Expert Says:

Hello and thank you for writing to JustAsk!

First, please let me address the level of frustration that seems to be within your home. Your child and yourselves are very upset that your son seems to not have as much academic success as desired. Know that many reasons can impact a child from school success and the School Psychologist or School Counselor would be a very good start in helping your family and your son. You might find out that he may have a physical condition that is impeding his learning. School professionals should be a good first start in getting your son some help.

Next, in my opinion, a child does not fail on purpose. Therefore, using physical punishment will not make him learn any better or faster. Please do not believe that slapping your son will help improve his studying. In fact, I believe the reverse will be true as now he may become too upset by the punishment to focus on his work. This would be counterproductive to what you are wishing to happen. Praise for when he does work and assurance that you are willing to seek help for him to learn easier and better should be a better strategy and show your son you are on his side without physical threats.

There are many good programs to help your son. These can be school or community based, such as school mentors, Boys Clubs, etc. I believe they could be FREE.. you will need to check with school personnel to be sure and which are available.

Thank you for writing. It shows that you love your son very much and want him to succeed in school, but need help. Hope this gets your family on the right path.

Good luck!

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