Holding a child back is always one of the toughest decisions for parents, however, it is usually related to having a child (especially a boy) that is young for his grade. In some cases holding a child back is truly a gift you can give that child because he needs extra time to develop and mature in order to catch up with peers either socially or academically. In other cases, this is not the case. In other words, holding a child back is not the 'cure' for every single struggle that a child may have.

You explain that your son is definitely on the older side. Therefore, if your son's teacher is noticing that he is struggling at this point in the school year, holding him back may not be the answer. Chronologically he is not younger than his peers, so we need to wonder what may be getting in the way of him learning or behaving the way he needs to be at this time. When a child struggles in this way, he sometimes needs support within his chronological age classroom setting, rather than being held back. In fact, holding him back could actually make the situation worse, rather than better.

In order to learn better what your child's specific needs may be, it's is very important to have him academically and psychologically evaluated either by your school district or privately. I'd strongly suggest you do this now, before the school year ends, so you can use the results to inform your placement for next year and get any supports into place that you may need. These supports could include counseling, or academic help.

Good Wishes and Great Parenting,
Dr Susan Bartell
JustAsk Expert
www.drsusanbartell.com
Twitter @drsusanbartell
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