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cranberry
cranberry asks:
Q:

Help!  I'm doing the best I can but my son's behavior at school is disruptive.

My son is the only child of a nerotic, overly nervous mother.  He started Kindergarten last Fri. and it has not been a great experience.  I took a week off work so we would have plenty of time to eat breakfast in the am, walk to school and be home to pick him up.  Unfortunately I meet with the teacher the 2nd day to to my child being disruptive during story time, making noises, argueing about the logics of books ect.  he has spent most of his recesses in time out. we do stickers, we do rewards, the teacher and I communicate thru a notebook.  I think I need to stop reading the net, many people like to accuse mothers because they work.  How else do you support a child I think I'm actively involved in his education I just don't know what to do about his disruptive behavior, he was the same way in pre-school.  He seems very smart knows his letters, colors, #'s to 50  Help
In Topics: Discipline and behavior challenges, Work/family balance
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Boys Town National Hotline
Aug 25, 2008
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What the Expert Says:

First of all, you are right on target with many of the approaches you are using.  Taking time off from work for this milestone in your son's life (his first day of school) sends a valuable message, that school is very important.  The communication with the teacher through the notebook as well as conversation is going to help your son know that you are supportive of school and the expectations they have of him.  Using stickers and rewards are great for encouraging positive behaviors.
The problem you are dealing with however is decreasing the negative behaviors.  There are some techniques that are very effective in decreasing those behaviors we don't like.  Specifically the problem with story time can be affected by setting expectations, teaching a skill and practicing it at home.  The skill is Listening and can be taught in steps to your son.  Because of his age and developmental level, keep it simple.  The skill has just 3 simple steps, 1.) Look at the person.  2.) Sit or stand quietly.  3.) Say "Okay."  After you teach this skill to him, then practice it by reading him a book at home expecting to see these steps during the reading.  If he does not meet your expectations by looking at you, sitting quietly, and saying "Okay", stop reading, describe what he is doing wrong, give a negative consequence, re-teach your expectations and have him practice by resuming the story.
Consequences have to help him understand the contrast between what happens when he behaves and what happens as a result of misbehaving.  Remember that negative consequences can be loss of priviledge or addition of a chore.  Use the smallest consequence that is effective.
Pick your battles and work on one skill at a time.  Since the current issue is Listening, start there.  Good luck and remember that you are your child's first and most important teacher.
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000


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Additional Answers (1)

crazymama
crazymama writes:
TAKE HIS STUFF FROM HIM AND DON'T LET HIM DO THE THINGS HE LIKES TO DO. YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR CHILD THAT MESSING UP IN SCHOOL IS NOT TOLERATE AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO MESS UP YOU WON'T GET THE THING YOUR ENJOY.
> 60 days ago

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