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ariel1129
ariel1129 asks:
Q:

My husband thinks our 5 year old could become gay

I have a almost 7 years old daughter and a 5 1/2 boy. I have two nieces, so my son is the only boy in the family as well as my husband. My husband thinks that our boy is going to be gay just because he cries for almost anything and because sometimes he moves his hands like we girls do. I am sure he is not going to be gay. He loves his boy things. He has never express the feeling of wanting to be a girl instead of a boy, he loves his transformers toys, and everything that has to do with boys.
How I make my husband understand that it is normal that he walks the way he does because he plays only with girls and is always in contact with only girls, besides my husband. every day after he comes from work he starts pointing fingers at me telling me that it is my fold that I am to soft with him. Help I can't take anymore his criticism.
In Topics: Parenting / Our Family
> 60 days ago

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Expert

Dr.Monika
Aug 11, 2010
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What the Expert Says:

Being gay is not a matter of choice.  Sexual orientation is determined by nature and it will be up to your son to become either in the future when the time is right.  In the mean time, encourage your husband to enjoy your son for who he is!  We are heavily influenced by our immediate environments, and since your son does not play with other boys, he learns from his girl playmates the behaviors that he exhibits.  If it is a big problem for your husband, encourage  him spend more time with his son so that he can model to him "boy behaviors" and ask him to help you find male playmates for your son.

Best regards.
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Additional Answers (3)

nicjmartin
nicjmartin writes:
Being gay isn't something that someone "becomes". Gay people are born being gay in the same way that straight people are born being straight.
That being said, his behavior really isn't an indicator at such a young age. When I was around his age, I loved "boy toys". I used to love playing in the mud and getting dirty and doing anything the boys in my class did because I enjoyed it, and I'm straight.
Try to encourage your husband to love your son the way he is and explain to him that because he spends most of his time around girls that he's picked up on that behavior. If this is really a huge problem with your husband, suggest that he spend more time with your son so he can model what he thinks is how a boy should act.
> 60 days ago

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Mariam32
Mariam32 writes:
this i found real funny,as a regular brother i was looking for my sisters answer and i came across this, your son isnt going to be gay...he's 5 years old,scientifically proven u dont find out if the gender in our family is gay untill he reaches 10 or 11 years of age,because the mind starts to tell him or her what they really need early age of puberty..tell your husband to lay off the criticism....have a good 1
> 60 days ago

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BOO_DOTTIE
BOO_DOTTIE writes:
People are born being gay? I just seen that comment and I think its funny how people say that and have no idea why people really are.  I have nothing against gays, I just think there is more now than ever because its all over T.V and people make kids think that could be them.  Well about the 5 year old, he's 5. Just worrie about his happiness and health.  There is no need to worrie about all that other nonsense.  Lets just let are kids grow up first and see the kind of person he will be.  I bet he will be fine.
> 60 days ago

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